Increasing Chanting (16 rounds and more)

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Hare Krishna

Dandavats to all.

Pls accept my humble obeisances.

To be honest, I am a very fallen soul and we all agree fallen souls need more mercy and blessings from Mahabhagvats. By lord’s grace, I sometimes get ample opportunities to serve sanniyasis and get their mercy. I will now clock 4 yrs back when I used to struggle doing my 16rounds. It was very erratic 8, 10, 12, 14, 16 rounds. Due to mercy of one of the senior devotees, he asked me if I could take care of HH Janananda  Maharaj for 2 days as he needs to serve him by following his instructions and get some medicines from Kerela India. I heartily agreed.

Based on our understanding and abilities, we served Maharaj and did as he would instruct. However I saw Maharaj would always be chanting. If I am saying something, he may listen but he would keep chanting and respond if he thinks question merits answer. He was like walking, talking chanter. Whilst travelling in the car, taking his bath, packing his luggage, whilst cooking with my wife, he would be just chanting…It was amazing to see somebody actually doing what Prabhupad instructed it. Sometimes when we read, we nod our head in acceptance from philosophy but when u see somebody doing it, you understand how to do it. Its like in the manual it may be written how to keep the house clean but when we see our mother or wife how they take care of hygine and cleanliness, we start copying. The big knock came when Maharaj was about to sleep at night and I asked if I could massage his feet. He said no. I protested and asked if I can get his mercy. He smiled and said if somebody massages his body at night, it relaxes him and then he fears that he may not be able to get up by 3:45am. So, if I wish I could do massage after 7am. I was stunned. He asked me to sleep outside his room so that no mataji comes to his room (there was another mataji who had come to meet him too). After 30mins, I started hearing mahamantra incoherently: Hare Krishna Hare Krish…..Rama rama….I could hear like for 10-15secs and then silence and then again after one hr…till the alarm rang at 3:45am and he sprang like a lion and started chanting…..

It was so powerful for me….Looking at Maharaj, both me and shilpi cried at his feet. We understood we are having great soul at our place and we need his mercy. I promised I will try utmost every day to chant 16rounds. He then said: focus on quantity first; you will get quality later….Be like parrot, every moment u are free, take his name…even if 16 rounds are over, keep chanting whatever work u may be doing; you don’t use bead bag after 16 rounds if ur work or job doesn’t permit; but just keep chanting and u will get the quality and it will become so ingrained in ur system, u will never feel like leaving chanting…

To this date, I still remember his smile and his instructions. I still remember and even today when he comes to our place and sleep, I see him chanting…I am mudha and sleep like a donkey (haven’t been able to get there; but my chanting went to 16 rounds after this inspiration and shilpi (my wife) to this date chants whilst cooking…

Such is the mercy of Mahabhagvats…and my realization is if one just chants relentlessly like parrot, he gets it – power of holy name…Its like Valmiki, he just tried mrammramram…and then finally ram ram ram….and what realized soul was he (after just being a parrot)…also association is so important and after this I used to make point to invite senior devotees and sanniyasis so that I can get more association and learn…my wife shilpi is also doing rounds nicely by maharaj’s grace.

Maharaj is again coming to my place on 14th Jan and I cant hide my happiness and I had to write this!!

Hari Bol

very fallen sevant

Sumeet

Our distance from Krishna

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Hare Krishna.

8th January, Gurgaon.

As I moved from a fresher to a neophyte stage I realised that as I progress the distance between me and Krishna keeps on decreasing as well as increasing.

In one way we start experiencing the presence of Krishna and Guru near us, we just need to `tune’ ourselves by our daily sadhna bhakti and a sincere desire to get some instructions and voila ! they usually come fast. We then take another baby step towards a firm faith in Krishna, Guru and Shastra. What is invariably missing is a sincere and burning desire inside me to receive instructions than the response.

On the flip-side I also realise how almost unlimited jivas are serving Krishna in the eternal world and that  just being a servant of the servant of the servant also is a very far distance from Him. We also realise what could be the position of a single fallen infinitesimal soul, if anything at all, in relation to our previous acharays and devotees in serving Him. At first it is painful to see the increased or rather infinite distance as we realise that there is no chance to go near Him. But after sometime a strange phenomenon occurs in our heart and we suddenly become blissful and relish every moment in just being an instrument to serve Krishna indirectly. Not even serving Him but just thinking and praying that one day we may become an indirect servant makes our heart and soul glow, that thought gives us more pleasure than serving Him directly. In fact we forget that we ever wished to serve Him directly !

Krishna is not straight and nor are His ways very straight !

I also realised that this change happened when I prayed to Srila Prabhupada, tried to serve him sincerely and developed a relationship with him first. As this relationship developed I immediately realised my good fortune. I realised how fortunate I am to have come under the shelter of Srila Prabhupada’s lotus feet and ISKCON. And how by being under the shelter of Srila Prabhupada opens a direct door of service to Krishna via MahaPrabhu and Guru parampara. The sooner I become aware of my good fortune, and act accordingly, the faster I progress in my devotional journey.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

HH Giriraj Swami Maharaj

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Hare Krishna.

5th January, Gurgaon.

The Sunday morning class was enlightening, we have a new full time preacher in Gurgaon, HG Mahaprabhu Chaitanaya prabhuji. He gave an excellent class today. After the class got over we were chatting up when HG Haridas Thakur Prabhuji informed us that HH Giriraj Maharaj is visiting Noida at 1 pm today. After the breakfast prasadam they both left for Noida. I came back home in double mind on whether to go to Noida or not. The weekly Bhagavad Gita group  meeting at my home would start at 4 pm and it would inappropriate to cancel it or miss it. As I was returning home I got a mail from HH Giriraj Maharaj that he is leaving Vrindavan for Noida and would also give the morning lecture at Delhi temple. I had invited  Maharaj to visit Gurgaon, he had consented but he wrote back a few days back that he was unwell and won’t be able to make it this time.

As I read maharaj’s email, I realised that if he could come to Noida to give a lecture in bad health and then what stops me to drive to Noida and take his darshan. I reached home and discussed the same with my wife, she too pushed me to go to Noida. I left home around 12noon and was at the temple sharp at 1 pm. Noida temple is right on the main road and at an excellent location, Sri Sri Radha Govinda ki jai. The temple would open officially on 12th Feb. The main hall was packed with devotees and there was wonderful kirtan going on.

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Maharaj came around 2 pm and it was so good to take his darshan. He looked frail and weaker than when I last saw Maharaj at Punjabi Bagh temple 3 years ago. May Krishna give Maharaj a very healthy 2014.

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Maharaj said as a new year has just started he has picked up a relevant verse from Srimad Bhagavatam.,SB 2.3.17

āyur harati vai puḿsām  udyann astaḿ ca yann asau
tasyarte yat-kṣaṇo nīta   uttama-śloka-vārtayā

Both by rising and by setting, the sun decreases the duration of life of everyone, except one who utilizes the time by discussing topics of the all-good Personality of Godhead.

Like a magician Maharaj brought out different meanings and teachings from this wonderful verse.

My lessons from the lecture :

1.  We should not waste a single moment of life, which can not be bought by any amount ofgold. It indeed given me new prospective of time management and my time spent in service of Srila Prabupada and ISKCON.

2. We have to just remain alive in our devotional service to go back to Godhead.

3.  A devotee’s old age or disease in the present life is but an impetus to a guaranteed eternal life. He gets free from the cycle of birth, disease, old age and death.

I then met Maharaj briefly and he spoke and looked with such affection. Maharaj then got busy in signing his books for the pleasure of the devotees. I realised that it was already 3.30 pm. I rushed home but before leaving spotted Gaurav prabhu, bought a book and requested him to get Maharaj’s autograph  on the same. He, always ready to help, agreed and I rushed back home.

6th January, Gurgaon.

By lord’s mercy I again made up my mind to hear Maharaj at Delhi temple and went with HG MahaPrabhu Chaitnaya prabhuji. We reached just in time for the lecture. Maharaj looked better today, he spoke on the following verse

ei-kathā śuni’ mahāntera mahā-sukha haya

caitanyera krpā yāńhe, tāńhe ki vismaya

When the personal associates of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu would hear of the activities of Rūpa and Sanātana Gosvāmīs, they would say, “What is wonderful for a person who has been granted the Lord’s mercy?” ( CC madhya 19.132)

My lessons from this lecture :

1. We should not hesitate to write and we must distribute Srila Prabhupada’s books for the pleasure of Srila Prabhupada, this is our parampara.

2. We should not try to copy six Goswamis, what they did was the external manifestation of their internal mood. This is a very very important lesson for me.

3. The last lesson I learnt is that I must always hanker to listen from pure devotees in person, it has a very different effect on my consciousness  compared to when I listen to lectures over internet or recordings.

Maharaj explained that Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Thākura compared distributing literature to playing on a great mrdanga. A normal Mrdanga can only be heard for few blocks but Book Mrdanga goes hundred of miles. Maharaj gave examples of how people become devotees after reading Srila Prabhupada’s books in far off places.

As the lecture finished I heard the nectarean voice of HH Gopal Krishna Goswami Maharaj. Jai ! Maharaj too was there so it turned out to be a double bonus for me.

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Srila Prabhupada wrote in the purport of above SB verse that `a moment passed in the association of a pure devotee by hearing and chanting the transcendental messages of the Lord is a perfect guarantee for eternal life, for returning home, back to Godhead.’ What I surely felt was that each moment passed in the association of Maha Bhagavat like HH Giriraj Maharaj and HH Gopal Krishna Goswami Maharaj is guaranteed like being in the spiritual world, Vaikuntha, no anxiety, only bliss.

All glories to HH Giriraj Swami Maharaj.

All glories to HH Gopal Krishna Goswami Maharaj.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Lesson of Karma from Mahabharat and Cure given by Krishna in Bhagvadgita..

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Key learning from Mahabharata:
King Dhritrashtra, when he lost all his 100 sons in the battle field, inquired of Lord Krishna as to why he met with such a disastrous loss even though he did not remember to have committed any such horrible sin during his present lifetime.
Lord Krishna, out of respect and sympathy for him gracefully bestowed upon him divine vision so that he could visualise for himself the heinous act perpetrated by him in any of his previous births which was responsible for his current misery. Thus aided, Dhidrashtra discovered that fifty births back when he was a hunter of birds he once threw his burning net on a tree causing hundred small baby birds to be entrapped and burnt to ashes, while the remaining big birds flew away but they became blind due to the scorching heat of the burning net.
The effect of this horrible sinful deed was that Dhritrashtra became and remained blind all throughout his present life and also lost his 100 sons. Dhitrashtra wondered and further inquired from Lord Krishna as to why that wanton and sinful act did not immediately rebound on him to punish him in the same birth or even during his immediately next birth, and why it remained dormant as Sanchit Karma for such a long period of fifty lifetimes.
Lord Krishna smiled and replied that his past sinful deed had to wait for an opportune time up to 50 births during which time he could earn and accumulate enough pious deeds to merit him to be eligible to get a hundred sons in one lifetime so that his previous sinful Sanchit Karma could instantaneously confront him with the effects of his evil action.
Thus, nobody can escape or avoid the punishment for his sinful actions even after 50 or five hundred births. Of course, the sinful deeds will remain latent and dormant as Sanchit Karmas waiting for the opportune time to confront the person…..such is the power of karma…
The only commitment he makes in Bhagvadgita: “Surrender onto me and I will take care of your sins.”…We don’t know what sins we did in our past life….we must surrender completely now and be under guidance of our spiritual master; if we wish to receive mercy of Krishna…else our sanchit karma will haunt us in next life or life after!!!!

Year 2013

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Hare Krishna.

31 Dec 2013, Ujjain, 8.30pm.

As the year 2013 comes to an end at midnight tonight I look back at what all happened in my spiritual life.

1. In my wildest imagination I could not have dreamt that I will be at Ujjain on new year eve and attending a wonderful retreat by Guru Maharaj.

2. That I am in the association of devotees is the cherry on the cake. Of course in the company of Shyamal Prabhu, Atma Prabhu, Radhapad Prabhu I am like a crow staring at a group of swans. Still by some good fortune I am here in their midst.

3. Guru Maharaj showered his complete mercy by visiting our home so many times and ensuring that as a family we remain steadfast on way to start our devotional journey.

4. The trip to Surat with devotees was a wonderful experience for me. It was trailer of what are happy devotee families and what is preaching with passion and care.

5. I had one of the best Kartika months ever and never been in Dhama for so many days.

6. I somehow gathered courage and started a weekly Bhagavad Gita study group at my home. The suport l received from my family, my devotee friends and the local centre was very humbling experience for me.

7. This group gave me a focus and also meaning to my devotional life.

8. I realised that grow to in devotional life I need to cultivate relationships, a most difficult part for me.

9. I attended many seminars and each one enriched me.

10. I got some inclination on what is chanting and what is meant by devotional service.

11. The visit of HH Gopal Krishna Goswami Maharaj would remain a highlight for the whole life.

12. I got a little taste for hearing and could hear lectures daily.

13. I fell in love with HH Radha Govind Maharaj and could take his Darshan for the first time.

14. It seems somehow by Krishna’s mercy I am getting a taste and longing to remain in the association of devotees. It’s a different matter that except for few devotees like Sumeet Prabhu, Karuna Prabhu, most of them, rightly, stay away for me. A crow among swans.

15. My wife made a very nice altar and then very nice presence of Srila Prabhupada in our new home, Guru Maharaj named it Krishna Kunj.

16. I could somehow feel the presence of mercy in all aspects of my devotional life , be it from devotees, Srila Prabhupada, Guru Maharaj or Krishna. I could appreciate a little the word causeless mercy.

17. I started reading Chaitanaya Charitamrita and found its teachings most profound.

18. I got some faith in Gaur Nitai and the six Goswamis.

18. Guru Maharaj strong teachings have converted me to become a strong supporter of ISKCON and Srila Prabhupada.

19. Guru Maharaj taught about Yukta Vairagaya today morning and I hope to imbibe it inside me.

20. I feel more peaceful, contended and happy than at the start of the year.

21. I could carry the Deity of Srila Prabhupada to all the 6 Goswami temples of Vrindavan.

22. Went to Mayapur Dham for the first time after my initiation.

23. Got initiated by never ending causeless mercy of HG Rukmini Prabhuji and Guru Maharaj.

24. I found a wonderful and most merciful brother in Sumeet Prabhu, except for the wrong habit glorifying me for no purpose he is near perfect. He guides me affectionately like a younger brother and keep my enthusiasm running. Being myself a zero in both my material and spiritual journey I can’t reciprocate nor return his feelings and gestures. I can only pray to Krishna for his spiritual and material well being.

25. I never felt alone for a moment ; there were devotees who took pity on me , Guru Maharaj who showered his causeless mercy on me, Srila Prabhupada who listened to my prayers , developed relationship with Gaur Nitai and reciprocation of love happened with Sri Sri Radha and Shyamsunder

I am looking forward to the promise I made to a Devotee today to reach the temple before Mangal Arti tomorrow morning and chant our rounds early on the first day of the year.

As I sit alone in my room in the temple guest house, ready to sleep early, I have my bead bag next to me and only Krishna and His devotee in my thoughts. I have no interest in the celebrations going in the temple nor in my dinner, I only hope to chant at least one japa round with love for Krishna before I wake up next year.

I pray at the lotus feet of all the devotees to please bless me with their association in the coming year.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

What a wonderful surprise

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Hare Krishna.

31Dec, Ujjain.

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As we all stood outside the dining hall, after breakfast, soaking in the warm winter sun, there was a little commotion. I turned my head I saw devotees gathering around someone, my first thought was that some Sanyasi or senior devotee has newly arrived. Then I saw that a family is being welcomed and garlanded. They looked very simple and before I could ask someone, a devotee whispered in my ear ‘do you know who is he ? He is Srila Prabhupada’s youngest son and his family ‘. I was taken a back by this information and it took me a few seconds to absorb it. I then moved closer to them and, of course, one could see a marked resemblance with Srila Prabhupada. It was so good to see them.

We can see them in the above picture.

Later, Guru Maharaj called them on the stage and glorified them and spoke how Srila Prabhupada named each of his son after a holy place, Prayag, Mathura and Vrindavan. The youngest, Vrindavan Prabhuji, was amongst us today, he spoke in Bengali about how proud he felt being Srila Prabhupada’s son and how he had a discussion with Srila Prabhupada for two hours before Srila Prabhupada left for USA. And then Guru Maharaj shared how Vrindavan Prabhuji had come stay with Srila Prabhupada in Vrindavan and how this youngest son was closest to Srila Prabhupada.

It was my good fortune to be in Ujjain as Srila Prabhupada’s son and his family arrived. Seeing them , I felt a very warm feeling in my heart and I somehow felt more close to Srila Prabhupada as if I got a peek inside the private life of Srila Prabhupada.

I know Srila Prabhupada is happy with us being together, cooperating with each other, and most happy with Guru Maharaj.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Consciousness

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Hare Krishna.

31st Dec, Ujjain.

Quotes-by-Srila-Prabhupada-on-Maya

The meals at the Ujjain retreat are very lavish by ISKCON standards. So yesterday after having another sumptuous breakfast I commented to Baljinder Prabhu how nice the arrangements are for the meals and there are so many devotees serving us as if we are in some 5 star restaurant. After we filled our plates initially, each dish was being served piping hot at our tables so that we don’t have to get up from our tables. That was my consciousness.

Then I met Atma Prabhu outside the hall and he told that he is going to have the lunch Prasadam with the Brahamcharis. When I asked him the reason he told me that one of the Brahmachari , when Atma prabhu invited him to eat in the main dining hall, told him ‘ We are servants and servants do not eat with their masters.’ I was bowled over by their humble statement. That was their consciousness.

When I came back to the room then Subal Shyam Prabhu told me that he wish to have his lunch Prasadam at ….. You guessed it right … at Brahamchari ashram. His reason, he does not like to take so much service from the devotees. That was his consciousness.

So it’s the same hall, the same prasadam, same facilities and yet each one of us is accepting it with a different consciousness.

This showed me how I can carefully observe our devotee brothers and learn from them and how association of devotees is beneficial to us innumerable ways.

All glories to the merciful Vaishanavas.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Pleasure in being the servant of the servant

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Hare Krishna

30th Dec, Ujjain.

Quotes-by-Bhakti-Charu-Swami-on-What-Should-We-Become

During the morning class today Guru Maharaj spoke about how we can take the example that In the field of atheism and Buddhism Sankracharya sowed the seeds or a base of Vedas. To dig we have to go down, in the reverse direction , so Sankracharya made the base by digging in the reverse directions, which is impersonalism, then the four Vaishanava acharya build the temple on that base. Finally MahaPrabhu came and established the Deities of Sri Radha Krishna in that temple. Guru Maharaj also informed us that MahaPrabhu took two points from each of the four Sampradayas.

During the question answer session, after the lecture, one devotee asked Guru Maharaj what were the two points that MahaPrabhu took from each of the Sampradaya. Guru Maharaj remembered a few of them and replied that he doesn’t remember each of them. He asked HG Ganganarayan Prabhu but he couldn’t recollect them.

As Guru Maharaj went to answer the next question, I searched on the internet on my phone and in 10 seconds I had all the 8 points. First hunch ; should I raise my hand and tell Guru Maharaj that I have searched the answer for him. Somehow I felt it would be wrong to do so. Instead I gave my phone, with the that page opened, to a senior devotee sitting next to me , he took my phone with a little surprise and became happy after I pointed to the opened page and he read the contents. He then handed my phone to HG Ganganarayan Prabhu and I could see that he too became happy reading the contents. Prabhuji then went to Guru Maharaj and handed the phone to him informing him about the contents. Guru Maharaj too was happy to receive it , he praised HG Ganganarayan Prabhu for finding them so quickly. He then shared the contents with everyone.

I realised that I felt very happy when each of the devotee became happy reading the contents on my phone. I was most happy when Guru Maharaj glorified HG Ganganarayan Prabhu for finding the answers so quickly. Surprisingly, for a character of my person, I didn’t feel envious that it was me who found it, I felt very happy from inside that prabhuji was glorified and some how I played a small part in it.

And lastly I got a hint how we can I please Krishna and Guru by being servant of the servant of their devotees. And it made me three times more happy ! I had read these lines many a times in the past but didn’t know the feeling and today by the causeless mercy of Vaishanavas I got a little taste of the same.

I pray at the lotus feet of devotees to continue to be merciful to a fallen neophyte like me.

All glories to the merciful Vaishanavas.
All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Facing a Pure devotee

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Hare Krishna.

29th Dec, Ujjain

Quotes-by-Srila-Prabhupada-on-Symptom-of-A-Pure-Devotee

Last evening as a  wonderful evening  came to an end  with an ecstatic Kirtan by Guru Maharaj, an ever merciful Atma Prabhu called me and Baljinder Prabhu to Guru Maharaj’s quarter. At first I thought he has called us for Guru Maharaj’s Maha Maha Prasadam , couldn’t think that he is taking us for Guru Maharaj’s darshan.

So when we entered straight into Guru Maharaj’s room I was tongue tied. For many seconds I didn’t know what to speak and then I hurriedly blurted out how happy I am being in the retreat and in the association of so many senior devotees and thanked him.

Later Atma Prabhu rightly chided me on keeping quite and told me he will next time he will first ask me whether I wish to meet Guru Maharaj. I was felt ashamed as I realised that I didn’t have the greed to always be eager to pay my obeisances and thank Guru Maharaj for his cause less mercy every moment of my low life.

Later in the evening I tried to analyse why I do I get tongue tied in front of Guru Maharaj and even in front of other sanyasis and Prabhujis. The answer which came from my heart was because I don’t serve. I realise that whenever Guru Maharaj look at me I feel as if he is asking ” Yes, how are you serving ISKCON and Srila Prabhupada ?” And I have no place to hide my face and hence I get tongue tied.

I pray at the feet of all devotees to somehow use a worthless and selfish person like me in their service.

I also promised myself that somehow I will pray and beg to Srila Prabhupada to give me intelligence to serve Guru Maharaj.

Look at the cause less mercy of devotees that at 9.30 pm a devotee knocked on my door and then came inside and explained that he has made a complete folio of Guru Maharaj’s transcripted lectures and wanted to know how can it be used. Another merciful devotee told him to contact me and see how can this be used in Guru Maharaj’s transcription service, for which I took responsibility some months back and could not do justice to it. I didn’t know how to thank this devotee enough. I took the data from him in his pen drive and resolved to serve Guru Maharaj in transcription service from next week itself.

I realised that whenever I prayed with my heart to devotees they respond faster than the speed of light.

All glories to Guru Maharaj.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Reading too many books

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Hare Krishna

23rd December 2012

Prabhupadas_Books

This blogs are from my last year’s diary.

While speaking to HG Rukmini Krishna Prabhuji today I discussed with him my current status where I am trying to study only Bhagavad Gita and have stopped reading all other books. The same instructions came from Guru Maharaj telling me that it is a step in the right direction. Guru Maharaj also wrote that NOD instructs us not to read too many books. Better to read one book at a time.

Prabhuji nobbed in affirmation and told me to follow it diligently and instructed me to just concentrate on reading Srila Prabhupada’s books, BG, SB and Krishna book, and that will be good enough. I will try to follow these instruction.

I was reading too many books and each new one I would pick a deeper topic and after some days won’t have the discipline to stop any of them so I would end up not finishing even one of them and always hankering for more.

The realisation to read only one book came as jolt in the right time. The shocker came when Guru Maharaj gave a very short Bhagavatam class at Radha Niwas few weeks back. The verse he picked up was SB 7.2.222

nitya ātmāvyayaḥ śuddhaḥ sarvagaḥ sarva-vit paraḥ

dhatte ‘sāv ātmano lińgaḿ māyayā visṛjan guṇān

TRANSLATION

The spirit soul, the living entity, has no death, for he is eternal and inexhaustible. Being free from material contamination, he can go anywhere in the material or spiritual worlds. He is fully aware and completely different from the material body, but because of being misled by misuse of his slight independence, he is obliged to accept subtle and gross bodies created by the material energy and thus be subjected to so-called material happiness and distress. Therefore, no one should lament for the passing of the spirit soul from the body.

I was shocked to know that Hiraṇyakaśipu knew all these details about soul and still behaved with so much animosity towards Lord. Guru Maharaj explained that as Hiraṇyakaśipu is speaking this verse we can clearly see that he has the correct knowledge but what is missing is `Surrender’ and without surrender all knowledge comes to a naught. Guru Maharaja’s words stuck somewhere deep inside me. I realised that all this knowledge I am trying to gain is no good. All my hankering for collecting books, reading deeper topics by previous acharayas suddenly fizzled out. I realised that I have to work towards surrender to Srila Prabhupada and Lord Krishna first. I realised that I have to first read and study only Srila Prabhupada’s books and rest all can come later.

I also realised that I am just reading these books and not studying them. In fact Guru Maharaj scolded me in his first Teleconference on SB ( it was recorded and sent to many devotees to my initial embarrassment,  listen to all his recorded teleconf on SB @ https://docs.google.com/folderview?id=0BwMhsEhAKOdybndTblpIUHF4QlE ). It was only many months later that I was listening to the same recording that I realised that Guru Maharaj was showering his mercy on me by instructing me to first read Bhagavad Gita properly rather than jumping on to the higher books. Guru instructs us, but look at me, I am so fallen that even simple English also I could understand only months later. During the teleconference Q&A, at that time, I thought ` Guru Maharaj ji does not know how many times I have read Bhagavad Gita in the past and with what dedication I have read all the small books by Srila Prabhupada.  But of course I was, and remain,  a foolish person of first degree.

Lesson for me : Please listen to EACH word of Guru with utmost attention and follow what Guru’s instructions  without measuring it with my own poor intelligence and mind. If I follow even the so called simple instructions I will progress rapidly in Krishna Consciousness.

I will  follow them.

2013 status : I have fallen in love with simple yet deep purports of Bhagavad Gita, every week HG Vidur Priya Prabhuji teaches us something new from the same verses, I have fallen more in love with Srimad Bhagavatam ( reading canto 3 ) and fallen head over heels in love with Sri Chaitanaya Charitamrita. I read other books but mostly to get clarity on subjects where I get stuck or keen to read a particular topic in greater detail, which is more often. However my hankering to collect books show no sign of slowing down.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.