Finding Faults: My biggest disease

Hare Krishna.

I read another pastime  of Srila Prabhupada today morning by Janananda Maharaj sent by HG Chitralekha Devi Dasi mataji. It read:

Prabhupada asked for water. Amogha, who was holding the microphone at the time, got up and went to the kitchen.

Amogha: “In the kitchen a lady handed me a silver tray on which was a pitcher of cold water, with ice in it, and a drinking cup or goblet upside down. The drinking cup had a long slender base that widened at the bottom. As I brought it in I couldn’t understand that it was upside down so I conjectured that it was a funnel which would fill the cup if I poured the water into it. I came close to Srila Prabhupada and nervously, in front of the guests, I poured the water into the bottom of the cup which was standing upside down on the tray. Naturally the water spilled out onto the tray, but I didn’t notice. I thought, ‘They put a funnel there so I wouldn’t spill it’. Srila Prabhupada looked at me and the tray and Srila Prabhupada said, ‘What is that?’ I said, ‘Water, Srila Prabhupada’, and Srila Prabhupada said, ‘NO, what is THAT?’, referring to what I was doing. People began to jump up to assist, but suddenly it dawned upon me what I had done. ‘Oh, No!’ I exclaimed and I poured the water out of the base and filled the cup properly. It was a big embarrassment. Everyone was on edge about it. Red-faced, I sat down where I had been before. At the time I walked in with the cup, Prabhupada was preaching about how people have misused their intelligence. Then I interrupted with the water blunder. After I sat down again Srila Prabhupada said, ‘Misused intelligence’, and everyone laughed heartily and felt relieved. Prabhupada could always say something at the right time that would put everybody at ease.”

As I finished reading the last line I could not understand why is this pastime being mentioned in the first place as I could only read embarrassment in it. It took me couple of seconds to realise their surrender to Srila Prabhupada. Whatever way Srila Prabupada conducted with them,  for them it was coming from Krishna directly. They had understood the meaning of complete devotion to Guru and they know that every action from Srila Prabhupada was for their own betterment.


p style=”text-align: justify;”>aslishya va pada-ratam pinashtu mam
adarsanan marma-hatam karotu va
yatha tatha va vidadhatu lampato
mat-prana-nathas tu sa eva naparah

I know no one but Krishna as my Lord, and He shall remain so even if He handles me roughly by His embrace or makes me brokenhearted by not being present before me. He is completely free to do anything and everything, for He is always my worshipful Lord, unconditionally.

I knew in a split second that this is what I lack. I judge devotees, and for that matter, everyone else. Neither I have complete faith in Guru and Krishna. I also suffer from another disease of being able to find fault in others.

I had attended a lecture of HG Damodar Prabhuji many months back in Gurgaon where he mentioned that the definition of `Muni’ is the one who does not find fault in others. So I thought let me ask him only for a solution. I requested him for a treatment for this disease to judge others. He instructed me to pray. So now I pray everyday to six Goswamis and Narsimha Deva to please have pity on me and remove this dreaded disease from my heart.

All Glories to all the sons and grandsons of Srila Prabhupada.

All Glories to Srila Prabhupada.

All Glories to the most soft hearted and most merciful Gaudia Vaishanva samradaya.

My prayers

Hare Krishna.


The first time I prayed with all my heart was when HG Sarvabhauma Prabhuji came to Punjabi Bagh temple and gave a lecture on atonement almost two years back. I used to feel a lot of guilt over my past karma and did not know how to get rid of them or ask forgiveness from all the people whom I hurt. All the past incidents would come into my thoughts as I would chant, it was getting difficult to chant. In the lecture Prabhuji mentioned that apart from our own lack of courage to face people and ask for forgiveness, we should also be careful that we don’t hurt them again by opening the old wounds and many a times people don’t see our bad intentions and don’t even know what transpired.  So he suggested a way around it. He told us that we can write all our past mistakes on a letter addressed to Krishna and ask  for forgiveness and a promise to not  repeat them. And later read the letter in front of the altar and again ask for forgiveness with all our heart . After completing it we should tear the lette and the guilt should go away. For me it was a message from Lord and it took me 3 days and many sheets of papers to write my past mistakes. As I wrote I was full of shame and surprised at what I did and wonder for what petty gains. So one morning I went to temple in the afternoon, read my whole letter to Krishna and Balrama and then tore the paper into pieces. It may sound unbelievable but all my guilt went away in less than a week and I could concentrate during my chanting.

Then another time was when I asked HG Rukmini Krishna Prabhuji that I am not able to find a Guru, I was completely blind that time with eyes anointed with ego, I feel ashamed to look back at my conversation. Prabhuji, all merciful,  listened to me patiently and then advised me to pray to Nityanand Prabhu and Lord Balram. I followed his instructions and started praying to Them. I met Guru Maharaj within few months. Hari Bol ! But I was, and still am, so ungrateful that  I didn’t thank any of my Lords. I thought it was all my good luck or my own enthusiasm which made it happen, more shame.

Third incident relates to my trip to Surat this year January to attend Brahma Samhita seminar by Guru Maharaj. I was most fortunate to share the room with HG Nanda Vraja Prabhuji from Auckland. We talked and discussed so many spiritual topics, I shared my concern on the slow progress my family in their devotional journey. He instructed me to recite Shad Goswami Ashtakam. He added that the six Goswami are most merciful and they will bless me to remove any impediments in my spiritual journey. I googled the ashtakam and found it had  difficult sanskrit words and I could not even recite it. I dropped the idea and forgot all about it once I came back home. Many months later,  I don’t remember what was the trigger, but I pulled myself to start reciting Shad Goswami Ashtakam every morning. Well, in next two months I could see the change which I would call nothing short of a miracle.

vande rupa-sanatanau raghu-yugau sri-jiva-gopalakau….. All glories to the six Goswamis.

All glories to the Wonderful institute of ISKCON and its glorious, and most merciful, devotees.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

All glories to Guru Maharaj.

Power of prayer


Hare Krishna.

I wrote in one of my previous blog that how I chant but do not pray to Lord so regularly.

Yesterday I was wondering why I pray so less. And this too when so many devotees   instructed me in the past to pray whenever I went to them with some difficulty in my spiritual progress. I had no clear answer. It is more bewildering when I look back and see that Srila Prabhupada, Lord Balarama, Guru Maharaj, whomsoever I prayed, those prayers have always been answered.

Few days back HG Chitralekha Devi Dasi Mataji sent me below mail. Mataji does a wonderful service by sending daily a pastime of Srila Prabhupada,  one can subscribe it at

Once, Srila Prabhupada gave a class at the Bhaktivedanta Manor in which he told the audience, “The difference between you and me is that you can fall down but I cannot fall down.” Later, after the class, Srila Prabhupada was praying in front of the deities, and one disciple asked him, “What were you praying?” And Srila Prabhupada replied, “I was praying that I may never fall down.” The disciple responded, “But in your talk you said that you can never fall down.” And Srila Prabhupada replied, “Yes, because I am always praying never to fall down, therefore I can never fall down.”

I could not keep these words from Srila Prabhupada’s away from my thoughts. Then I realised that this is the trick, to pray and pray continuously . I have to always depend on the mecry of senior Vaishanavas, acaryas and my Lord so I don’t fall. I realised it but didn’t put into practice.

Last Friday during at a prog at Sumeet Prabhhuji’s home I suggested a mataji that she should pray to Krishna. Later, I again thought why I am not praying so often, do I consider myself so advanced that I don’t need to pray. The answer was negative but it prodded me to start praying immediately, without any more delay or thinking.  It took association of devotees to finally get me started.

All Glories to merciful devotees !

I also realised that whole Srimad Bhagavatam is full of wonderful prayers and if those exalted devotees needed to pray then what chance do I have to progress in my devotional life without praying continuously. This process also helps me keep a check on my ego. I know that any progress in my material and spiritual life is due to mercy and not by own efforts.

Due to the mercy of Guru Maharaj,  Srila Prabhupada and association of devotees, I have started to pray regularly and I pray at the feet of all the vaishanava to please bless me that I never forget to pray.

I will share some of my experiences of praying in my next blog.

All Glories to Srila Prabhupada.

All Glories to Sri Guru and Sri Gauranga.

My little realisations in krishna consciousness

some of my realisations as I sold a property to buy a home.

1.  As the deal went up and down, I realised my prayers have improved !! I would chant but was not praying too much but now the prayers started !  I prayed constantly to let me go thru all the anxiety but please take over the home I was buying this home to establish it as Krishna’s new abode.

2.  I realised, and could appreciate, a little bit, why Kunti Maharani was asking for more and more trouble.

3.  I need to have complete faith in Krishna. Unless there is complete faith the anxiety won’t go.

4.  I should learn not to hate people who fail us at the time of testing. It is easier to read and speak about it but when it fell on my head, I got the first hand taste. Very good learning experience. why hate the messenger when my own Karmas are coming back to haunt me. But Krishna does makes it easier for even a neophyte devotee to go through such situations with ease. I thank Him to make me realise it and practice it a bit.

5.  I must do my best and leave the rest to Krishna, He knows what is best for me and is my best well wisher.  So I must thank him for any final result.

I, therefore, thank Him for all this upheaval during this property  deal and making me stronger in my sadhna Bhakti and I also got few realisations as a bonus.

All Glories to Sri Sri Guru and Gauranga.

All Glories to Srila Prabhupada

  • Posted by Giriraj Das on June 28,2013 at 9:00pm