29th Dec, Ujjain
Last evening as a wonderful evening came to an end with an ecstatic Kirtan by Guru Maharaj, an ever merciful Atma Prabhu called me and Baljinder Prabhu to Guru Maharaj’s quarter. At first I thought he has called us for Guru Maharaj’s Maha Maha Prasadam , couldn’t think that he is taking us for Guru Maharaj’s darshan.
So when we entered straight into Guru Maharaj’s room I was tongue tied. For many seconds I didn’t know what to speak and then I hurriedly blurted out how happy I am being in the retreat and in the association of so many senior devotees and thanked him.
Later Atma Prabhu rightly chided me on keeping quite and told me he will next time he will first ask me whether I wish to meet Guru Maharaj. I was felt ashamed as I realised that I didn’t have the greed to always be eager to pay my obeisances and thank Guru Maharaj for his cause less mercy every moment of my low life.
Later in the evening I tried to analyse why I do I get tongue tied in front of Guru Maharaj and even in front of other sanyasis and Prabhujis. The answer which came from my heart was because I don’t serve. I realise that whenever Guru Maharaj look at me I feel as if he is asking ” Yes, how are you serving ISKCON and Srila Prabhupada ?” And I have no place to hide my face and hence I get tongue tied.
I pray at the feet of all devotees to somehow use a worthless and selfish person like me in their service.
I also promised myself that somehow I will pray and beg to Srila Prabhupada to give me intelligence to serve Guru Maharaj.
Look at the cause less mercy of devotees that at 9.30 pm a devotee knocked on my door and then came inside and explained that he has made a complete folio of Guru Maharaj’s transcripted lectures and wanted to know how can it be used. Another merciful devotee told him to contact me and see how can this be used in Guru Maharaj’s transcription service, for which I took responsibility some months back and could not do justice to it. I didn’t know how to thank this devotee enough. I took the data from him in his pen drive and resolved to serve Guru Maharaj in transcription service from next week itself.
I realised that whenever I prayed with my heart to devotees they respond faster than the speed of light.
All glories to Guru Maharaj.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.