Tag Archives: false ego

Cry out to Krishna

by

Hare Krishna

12th Oct, 2015. Gurgaon

I read so much, and hear even more so, on being humble and not just simply humble but humbler than a blade of grass. It feels nice as I read such terms and collect more ‘information’ on how to get into the ‘mood’ of being humble but whenever I am put into a test I fail miserably, a deadly mixture of hardheartedness, passion and ignorance takes over my consciousness. I simply remain a puppet in the hands of three modes of nature.

Many a times I wonder, and now a days also pray to Lord, as to what are You trying to teach me by putting me in such circumstances? Doesn’t the Lord already knows that I have very weak spiritual muscles, doesn’t He know that I will fail such tests, they why? Is it to make me more humble and tolerant or is it tell me that I am just a show bottle devotee with no real substance inside me or to let me realise that I do  not have any love for Krishna as compassion for others is directly linked to our love of Krishna or all of the above!

It is indeed a very grim and helpless condition for me. My heart cries out to Krishna. I wish my heart could speak directly and cry and cry, cry out so loud that it’s steel like frame would burst open. Unfortunately that too doesn’t happen.

But one positive outcome happened this time. With such failures I am learning how each difficult situation forces me to remember Krishna more and more! It makes me realise my helpless condition in this world, gives me some emotions to chant better. In fact  writing this blog I suddenly remember the famous prayer of Kunti Maharani. I can now appreciate, a little bit, the below verse spoken by Kunti Maharani to Krishna

vipadaḥ santu tāḥ śaśvat tatra tatra jagad-guro
bhavato darśanaṁ yat syād apunar bhava-darśanam (SB 1.8.25)

Translation

I wish that all those calamities would happen again and again so that we could see You again and again, for seeing You means that we will no longer see repeated births and deaths.

As I write these heavy words I introspect within my heart if I have the courage to even repeat these words, forget about asking for it! But strangely today I find some courage in my timid heart as I pray to Lord to please put me through the same circumstances again and again and again, let people insult me, beat me, abuse me, let me fail again and again and again, if this alone would help me remember Krishna at all times then let it happen again and again.

I pray to my dear Lord to be merciful upon this wretched soul and take away everything from me, all my so-called possessions, my wealth, my position, my family. Let this world reject me, treat me as a worm in the stool, let the last iota of any sense of ego or to remain independent gets rubbed finely to the ground, but I beg my Gurudeva and Srila Prabhupada  to somehow make me remember Krishna at all time. Let my mind and my heart be engaged only in His thoughts alone and let my own life’s drama take a back seat now, I have had enough of it.

I searched for a prayer and, not surprisingly,  I found one in Saranagati, by Srila Bhaktvinoda Thakura, called Amar Jivana:

āmāra jīvana, sadā pāpe rata, nāhiko punyera leṣa

parere udvega, diyāchi je koto, diyāchi jīvere kleśa

nija sukha lāgi’, pāpe nāhi ḍori, doyā-hīna swārtha-paro

para-sukhe duḥkhī, sadā mithya-bhāṣī, para-duḥkha sukha-karo

aśeṣa kāmanā, hṛdi mājhe mora, krodhī, dambha-parāyana

mada-matta sadā, viṣaye mohita, hiḿsā-garva vibhūṣana

nidrālasya hata, sukārye virata, akārye udyogī āmi

pratiṣṭha lāgiyā, śāṭhya-ācaraṇa, lobha-hata sadā kāmī

e heno durjana, saj-jana-varjita, aparādhi nirantara

śubha-kārya-śūnya, sadānartha-manāḥ, nānā duḥkhe jara jara

bārdhakye ekhona, upāya-vihīna, tā’te dīna akiñcana

bhakativinoda, prabhura caraṇe, kore duḥkha nivedana

Translation:

1) I am an impious sinner and have caused others great anxiety and trouble.

2) I have never hesitated to perform sinful act for my own enjoyment. Devoid of all compassion, concerned only with my own selfish interests, I am remorseful seeing others happy. I am a perpetual liar, and the misery of others is a source of great pleasure for me.

3) The material desires within the core of my heart are unlimited. I am wrathful, devoted to false pride and arrogance, intoxicated by vanity, and bewildered by worldly affairs. Envy and egotism are the ornaments I wear.

4) Ruined by laziness and sleep, I resist all pious deeds; yet I am very active and enthusiastic to perform wicked acts. For worldly fame and reputation I engage in the practice of deceitfulness. Thus I am destroyed by my own greed and am always lustful.

5) A vile, wicked man such as this, rejected by godly people, is a constant offender. I am such a person, devoid of all good works, forever inclined toward evil, worn out and wasted by various miseries.

6) Now in old age, deprived of all means of success, humbled and poor, Bhaktivinoda submits his tale of grief at the feet of the Supreme Lord.

In the end, I pray, may Lord Nityananda be merciful upon me and allow me to visit and roll in the dust of Sri Mayapur Dhama, this seems the only solution to the dreaded disease which has overcome my heart.

All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Anarthas and Anartha-Nivrtti

by

Hare Krishna
3rd, February, 2015, Gurgaon.

Quotes-by-Bhakti-Charu-Swami-on-Getting-Rid-of-the-Impurities-of-the-Heart

After the last blog on `demons in Krishna Lila‘ I thought let me share more anarthas as described in detail in Madhurya kadambini, I also took the help of VIHE book ‘demons in Vrindavana Lila’ to write this blog. This topic also connects with the earlier blog How to change our heart.

At one level we hear that bhakti is causeless meaning that there is no cause for bhakti (like pious deeds, austerity, penance, etc.), bhakti is independent. I heard a beautiful analogy by HH Bhakti Vijnana maharaj, he described how in the material world everything is cause' andeffect’ and this is what science does it focuses on finding cause and it’s effect. Bhakti, on the other hand, not being from the material wold is `causeless’ !

But still in this causeless realm there is a way, described by Srila Rupa Goswami in his famous verse in Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu 1.1.11, there are nine stages a devotee pass through as we advance in Krishna consciousness.

adau sraddha tatah sadhu- sango-‘tha bhajana-kriya
tato’nartha nivrttih syat tato nistha ruci’s tatah
athasaktis tato bhavas tatah premabhyudancati
sadhakanam ayam premnah pradhurbhave bhavet kramah

These stages are:
1. Shraddha — faith
2. Sadhu-sanga — association with devotees
3. Bhajana-kriya — trying to seriously take up the process of devotional service
4. Anartha-nivrtti — becoming free of all unwanted things
5. Nistha — steadiness in Krishna consciousness
6. Ruchi — a deep taste for Krishna consciousness
7. Asakti — attachment for Krishna
8. Bhava — ecstasy, the first rays of the sun of love for Krishna
9. Prema — pure love for Krishna

Out of all the above stages anartha-nivrtti is a very important and one of the most bumpy/bouncy/stormy stage to be crossed. There is relative calm before and after this stage but this stage is really choppy waters and troubles devotees most. This is a very important milestone in our spiritual journey and we must make all endeavour to cross it, it won’t happen `automatically’.

Srila Prabhupada wrote in the purport of CC madhya-lila 23.13: “Srila Bhaktivinoda Thaura summarizes this growth of love of Godhead as a gradual process. A person becomes interested in devotional service by some good fortune. Eventually he becomes interested in pure devotional service without material contamination. At that point, a person wants to associate with devotees. As a result of this association, he becomes more and more interested in discharging devotional service and hearing and chanting. The more one is interested in hearing and chanting, the more he is purified of material contamination. Liberation from material contamination is called anartha-nivrtti, indicating a diminishing of all unwanted things. This is the test of development in devotional service….. When one is freed from all material contamination, his firm faith awakens in devotional service. When firm faith develops, a taste arises, and by that taste, one becomes attached to devotional service. When this attachment intensifies, the seed of love of Krsna fructifies…”

Hence, once one has passed through the stage of anartha-nivrtti one is able to advance more quickly.

Srila Visvanath Chakravarti Thakura explains that there are four types of anarthas, recognized according to their origins:

  1. Anarthas arising from previous sin
  2. Anarthas arising from previous pious activities
  3. Anarthas arising from imperfectly performed bhakti
  4. Anarthas arising from offenses in devotional service

Anarthas Arising From Previous Sinful Activities:

Anarthas arising from previous sin are the five types of klesas, or material sufferings:
A. Avidya — ignorance (mistaking impermanent to be permanent etc.)
B. Asmita — false ego (bodily identification and the tendency to only accept sense perception)
C. Raaga — attachment (the desire for material happiness and the means to achieve it)
D. Dvesa — hatred (of unhappiness and the causes of it)
E. Abhinivesa — acquired nature (absorption in bodily existence, including fear of death)

Anarthas Arising From Previous Pious Activities:
Anarthas arising from previous pious activities are attachments to the enjoyments which arise from pious action.

Anarthas Arising From The Improper Performance Of Bhakti:
Anarthas arising from improper performance of devotional service are a little more subtle, Srila Visvanath Cakravarti Thakura says that, just as, along with the main plant, many weeds grow, similarly, by the cultivation of bhakti there appears acquisition of material wealth and other facilities, worship and respect by others, a comfortable position, fame etc. By their very nature, they have the power to influence the heart of the devotee, grow in size,and cover up the main plant intended for cultivation, bhakti. (these do not include seva aparadhas).

Anarthas Arising From Offenses:

Anarthas arising from offenses in devotional service are the ten offenses against the chanting of the holy names: These are standard 10 offenses against the Holy Name, which most of us read every day before starting our rounds. I am not writing them here to save the space.

Seva aparadhas do not fit into this category, because they are normally overcome in the course of the performance of one’s devotional service, due to the potency of the devotional activities. Some example of seva aparadhas are entering the temple with shoes, not offering the arti or bhoga in time to the deities, etc.

However, if one commits seva aparadhas knowingly, that becomes the seventh offense against the chanting of the holy names.

A person who commits nama aparadha loses the mercy of the Lord in the form of His name, and therefore suffers in many ways, but if such a person humbly takes the appropriate remedial methods for his offenses (there are recommended remedies for each of the ten types) then he is able to gradually get the mercy of the name again, and his diseased condition is relieved.

The last and the most damaging aparadh is vaishanava Apradha. I will write about it in a separate blog, it commands top position in apradhas, and can even destroy our bhakti.

On a positive note this is what Srila Prabhupada writes we should do when we cross the stage of anartha-nivrtti :
`By His practical activity, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu informed us how to cleanse our hearts. Once the heart is cleansed, we should invite Lord Śrī Kṛṣṇa to sit down, and we should observe the festival by distributing prasādam and chanting the Hare Kṛṣṇa mahā-mantra. Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu used to teach every devotee by His personal behavior. Everyone who spreads the cult of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu accepts a similar responsibility…The Lord was very pleased with those who could cleanse the temple by taking out undesirable things accumulated within. This is called anartha-nivṛtti, cleansing the heart of all unwanted things. Thus the cleansing of the Guṇḍicā-mandira was conducted by Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu to let us know how the heart should be cleansed and soothed to receive Lord Śrī Kṛṣṇa and enable Him to sit within the heart without disturbance.’

All glories to Srila Visvanath Chakravarti Thakura.
All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.