Category Archives: My spiritual Journey

Service in the right mood

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Hare Krishna.

20th March, 2014, Gurgaon.

Quotes-by-Bhakti-Charu-Swami-on-Spiritual-World

I had a needless argument with HG Shyam Sundar Prabhuji the other day on some particular service which I wanted to undertake. The result of this silly argument (all from my side), however, was a beautiful mail which I received from Prabhuji. I am posting that mail ‘as it is’ for the benefit of all readers

Hare Krishna Prabhuji,

Dandavat Pranam…PAMHO.

We all know that the most important part of  being Krishna Consciousness is to comprehend and accept that we are servant of devotees, our Guru and Krishna. This is extremely critical as it is the only way to develop humility and surrender within us. Only a servant will surrender to his Master and then follow the instructions.

 But to be a servant, we cannot just feel it in our heart, we have to show in our action as well. And Servant’s action is service. In true spirit, Servant cannot demand a service. He should not say I cannot wash utensils but only sweep floor, so give me service of sweeping floor. Servants cannot demand from Master. We have to keep in mind that when we call all devotees as Prabhuji (Prabhu=master), then he becomes our master too. If a service is given, the devotee should just perform it to the best of his efforts and focus. If the prabhu (jiva-baddha) doesn’t know about you, you can always express what you think you are good at and what you struggle in, to ensure prabhuji doesn’t give a service to someone where the service quality towards Krishna gets compromised. But if we still get the service where we are not comfortable; we should accept it as austerity and chance to improve in that service.

 Also the service has 2 basic principles – should serve higher goal (preaching) and / or should make us feel menial Eg: sweeping floor, washing utensils, driver etc; For Neophytes specially, one should always take a service which makes him feel menial as mandatory. On top of it if the master feels we are fit we could take other service that serves higher goal. Menial service is mandatory to develop humility. It helps us to develop the servitude attitude too. Sometimes when we have Gyan (jnana) and we sit on vyasa-asana, we start feeling we know everything and start expecting respect and then ahankar develops.      

 Another aspect is when we demand something, it means we feel we are deserving. In material life, when we demand say 5 lac pa salary, it means we are convinced that we are fit and deserve to get 5lac pa salary. Similarly, when we demand the service of giving lecture, what we are indirectly saying is that we have full knowledge and thus we become our own master.

We should also understand that we must always beg for service. Begging is important for two reasons: instigating compassion in other devotee’s heart. As a devotee it is our duty to help other devotees in their spiritual quest. Secondly, when we beg, we inculcate the feeling of: “I am not the controller.”

 Now the point comes: If we know we can not do a particular service properly, should we refuse it? Yes. Everything we do is for our master and it should be first class. Everything we do for Krishna and his representatives should be top class. However, we should not use this as an excuse to avoid taking up service. We should take consideration of our circumstances – especially for Grahasthas – they should maintain a balance between material and spiritual life, but at the same time we should push ourselves to take the service and do it nicely. Generally (unless medical reasons), nobody can say they can’t do menial service. We (neophytes) are all sudras, so this is minimum. In fact, it takes a lot of effort to be fit for other services. Needless to say even in preaching service, the consciousness should be to serve devotees and our Guru and not getting recognition of our acquired intelligence or speaking skills.

 Can service be delegated ? Yes, provided we too are involved into it as well. This ensures that we are engaging others in service. 

I, too, am trying to implement these lessons, which I learned during my studies under HG Bhurijan Prabhu and while serving HH Janananda Maharaj. I am sharing them with you in the hope that these lessons may help you understand what should be our attitude while serving, and, eventually help you serve devotees with right consciousness.

Hari bol..

Very fallen servant,

Shyam sunder Krishna das

What a beautiful and inspiring mail ! I read this mail many times in last 2 weeks, and while reading it again today I thought of sharing it with everyone. I pray to Srila Prabhupada to kindly bless me with intelligence and memory so that I can always remember this lesson and serve devotees with right consciousness. I remember a quote by HH Mahanidhi Maharaj

Service is a privilege which is extended to a conditioned soul by the mercy of guru.

The mail also showed the me the importance to cultivate healthy relationships among devotees, based on mutual faith and trust, so that we can guide each other without any hesitation.

All glories to HG Shyam Sundar Prabhu.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

How many types of Bhakti is there ?

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Hare Krishna.

29th March, 2014, Gurgaon.

Q1: How many types of Bhakti is explained in Caitanya-caritāmṛta ? Explain them.

Answer : Srila Prabupada writes in the purport of CC Adi 4.21-22 :

1980-12-08

In the Caitanya-caritāmṛta three kinds of devotional service are described — namely, bhakti (ordinary devotional service), śuddha-bhakti (pure devotional service) and viddha-bhakti (mixed devotional service).

When devotional service is executed with some material purpose, involving fruitive activities, mental speculations or mystic yoga, it is called mixed or adulterated devotional service. Besides bhakti-yoga, the Bhagavad-gītā also describes karma-yoga, jñāna-yoga and dhyāna-yoga. Yoga means linking with the Supreme Lord, which is possible only through devotion. Fruitive activities ending in devotional service, philosophical speculation ending in devotional service, and the practice of mysticism ending in devotional service are known respectively as karma-yoga, jñāna-yoga and dhyāna-yoga. But such devotional service is adulterated by the three kinds of material activities.

For those grossly engaged in identifying the body as the self, pious activity, or karma-yoga, is recommended. For those who identify the mind with the self, philosophical speculation, or jñāna-yoga, is recommended. But devotees standing on the spiritual platform have no need of such material conceptions of adulterated devotion. Adulterated devotional service does not directly aim for love of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Therefore service performed strictly in conformity with the revealed scriptures is better than such viddha-bhakti because it is free from all kinds of material contamination. It is executed in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, solely to please the Supreme Personality of Godhead.

Those who are spontaneously devoted to the Lord and have no aims for material gain are called attracted devotees. They are spontaneously attracted to the service of the Lord, and they follow in the footsteps of self-realized souls. Their pure devotion (śuddha-bhakti), manifested from pure love of Godhead, surpasses the regulative principles of the authoritative scriptures….. The regulative principles help ordinary devotees rise to the stage of perfect love of Godhead. Pure love for Kṛṣṇa is the perfection of pure devotion, and pure devotional service is identical with spontaneous devotional service.

 

Q2: What is viśuddha-sattva ? What is miśra-sattva ?

Answer : Srila Prabhupada writes it in his purport to CC Adi 4.62 as below

In his thesis Bhagavat-sandarbha (103), Śrīla Jīva Gosvāmī explains the potencies of the Lord as follows: The transcendental potency of the Supreme Personality of Godhead by which He maintains His existence is called sandhinī. The transcendental potency by which He knows Himself and causes others to know Him is called samvit. The transcendental potency by which He possesses transcendental bliss and causes His devotees to have bliss is called hlādinī. The total exhibition of these potencies is called viśuddha-sattva…..

In the mundane mode of goodness there are tinges of passion and ignorance. Therefore mundane goodness, being mixed, is called miśra-sattva. But the transcendental variegatedness of viśuddha-sattva is completely free from all mundane qualities. Viśuddha-sattva is therefore the proper atmosphere in which to experience the Personality of Godhead and His transcendental pastimes.

In the Tenth Canto of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (10.27.4), Indra praises Kṛṣṇa as follows:

viśuddha-sattvaḿ tava dhāma śāntaḿ  tapo-mayaḿ dhvasta-rajas-tamaskam

māyā-mayo ‘yaḿ guṇa-sampravāho na vidyate te ‘grahaṇānubandhaḥ

“My dear Lord, Your abode is viśuddha-sattva, always undisturbed by the material qualities, and the activities there are in transcendental loving service unto Your feet. The goodness, austerity and penance of the devotees enhance such activities, which are always free from the contamination of passion and ignorance. Material qualities cannot touch You under any circumstances.”

Srila Prabhupada further expands it in his purport of CC Adi 4.62

Lord Kṛṣṇa’s father, mother and household affairs are all displayed in the same viśuddha-sattva existence. A living entity situated in the status of pure goodness can understand the form, qualities and other features of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Kṛṣṇa consciousness begins on the platform of pure goodness.When the living entity is situated in viśuddha-sattva, transcendental to the three material modes of nature, he can perceive the form, quality and other features of the Supreme Personality of Godhead through his service attitude. The status of pure goodness is the platform of understanding, for the Supreme Lord is always in spiritual existence.

 

All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

 

Love and compassion.

by

Hare Krishna

23rd March, 2014, Dharamsala, Himachal Pradesh.

One of my most beloved mamaji, maternal uncle, suddenly fell ill and then left his body on 22nd March. He was almost 85 and died peacefully at home, in the presence of his whole family. I pray to Lord Krishna to bless this noble soul.

We rushed on 22nd March early morning to leave for Dharamsala by car, which is approx 500km from Delhi in the northern Himalayan state of Himachal Pradesh.

I had following realisation on this day

1. As the his death got confirmed my wife, Priti, suggested that she could accompany me, leaving children with nana & nani, their maternal grandparents. This Mamaji was close my heart, of course he was affectionate towards Priti as well, but the connection was via me. She agreed to accompany because she knew he was very close to my family.  My first realisation that had it been Priti’s mamaji I would have refused to go come what may. I would have chosen to stay behind. I realise that this is what I had been doing since beginning, a cold, rather stone, hearted person. I felt ashamed but the words sorry or thank you still didn’t out of my mouth at that time.

2. Ay 4am in the morning I had to suddenly look for an alternative car as my car could not accommodate 6 people and the driver. None of the taxi guys were picking the call and then finally I had to call a friend’s no. who too didn’t pick my call at that hour. I then called up his wife, who picked it after 3 rings and then after hearing me, told me in 3 seconds flat to pick up their Innova and leave my car at their place.

More shame in the heart : Without elaborating too much on this topic let me confess that I would always feel very irritated to get such calls and requests. Yes, it became a bit different for devotee friends, but for my material friends my thoughts and feelings continue to remain the same. For the first time I could see the hypocrisy and narrow-mindedness in my dealings towards non-devotees, that too based on their external behaviour and my own judgment.

3. As we left, I decided not to inform my mother, who was accompanying us in the car, about death of her brother as she gets very emotional and the whole journey will become very difficult with her crying, etc. Usually I get very irritated with her, as her only agenda in life is to enjoy it and despite my best, rather worst, efforts she remains a `karmi’ (materialist) at heart. As we drove on and I started seeing and judging how she is behaving and that she is only interested in gossip and eating. Then strangely I saw her like a small child, who is innocent. I also realised that how, as in case of others, I have been thoroughly judgmental in my behaviour towards her and never realised the pains she went through her life. And rather than guiding her with love and affection, I became rude and cold, trying to behave like a class teacher, whom she could never confide anything. All such discussion will result in some lecture from me to her. I felt very ashamed and promised myself to amend it from today itself.

4. As we finally reached Dharamsala at the home of my Mamaji, I could not stop my tears. I had not met him for many years, twice in last 10 years. I realised how much he will call me to this place where I was born and with so much affection in his heart. I wanted to go but in last 2 years I started thinking about how will I eat at their home, they eat non-vegetarian food, etc. and how it will hurt him if I were to dictate my terms on eating or stay somewhere else. I was such an ass that I could not see the affection and only thought about externals. Despite many instructions that in today’s time food can not purify us and we have to win people with love not by strict rules, thus I became kind of outcast from the whole set of relatives and friends, thinking myself as pure and others as foolish materialists condemned for worst in their future. I also closed the gate to preach to all of them. I was really heartbroken that I kept on deliberating on such issues and could not spend more time with someone who was so full of love and affection towards me and may could have preached hm to Chant the holy name in his last leg of journey. His love for me remained same whether I was tasting failure or success in life. Like my nanaji, maternal grandfather, he never judged me. What a great lesson I learned but at such a great cost and a guilt which I will probably carry for the rest of my life.

I promised myself that I will pray to six goswamis, to guru parampara, to please soften my cold heart, to beg for it each time I take darshan of Deities, to beg my Guru and my fellow god brothers and sisters.

I know that all my chanting has been just audible words coming out of my mouth. I can understand what all hints Guru Maharaj, very subtly, and Shyam Sundar Prabhu, very strongly, have been giving me but I am such a foolish person that I didn’t even consider them for a second, completely blinded in my quest for knowledge.

I searched and got these lines from Nitai Gaura Nama, written by Sri Lochana Das Thakura.

na laya harinama, vidhi ta’re vama, pamara pasanda-mati
vaisnava-sevana, na kare je jana, ki ha’be tahara gati
Translation
Those who never chant harinama have an unfavorable destiny. They are fallen and their stone-like hearts are filled with deceit. And what will be the destination of those who never serve the Vaisnavas?
This is exactly me. I have never actually chanted the Holy Name till date, I am completely fallen and I have a stone-like heart filled with deceit. I do not have any feeling towards serving Vaishanavas.
My only saviour is to take the shelter of name of Sri Gaur Nitai and then seek mercy at the feet of all the Vaishanavas.

Hence I beg at the lotus feet of all the devotees who read this blog to kindly pray for me so that I too can join this great movement of Mahaprabhu where the only weapon is love and compassion for others, and nothing else, nothing else and nothing else.

I also beg at the feet of dear friend and guide HG Shyam Sundar Prabhu to not give up on a rascal like myself and continue the hard task of `softening’ my stone like heart.

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All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Nitya Sidha and Sadhna Sidha.

by

Hare Krishna.

12th March, 2014, Gurgaon.

Quotes-by-Nectar-of-Devotion-on-Association

It was Ekadeshi and in the evening Guarav and Subir Prabhu came home to meet me after a long time, in fact first time after I shifted in the new home. Shyam Sundar Prabhu too joined in and we had a nice Ishtagoshti going.

We discussed so many topics and after sometime, after a quick evening arti, I read the following verse from Srimad Bhagavatam.

SB 3.3.26
tatra snātvā pitṝn devān ṛṣīṁś caiva tad-ambhasā
tarpayitvātha viprebhyo gāvo bahu-guṇā daduḥ

Translation

After arriving there, all of them took bath, and with the water of this place of pilgrimage they offered their respects to the forefathers, demigods and great sages and thus satisfied them. They gave cows to the brāhmaṇas in royal charity.

Srila Prabhupada starts the purport as below

Amongst the devotees of the Lord there are several divisions, mainly nitya-siddhas and sādhana-siddhas. The nitya-siddha devotees never fall down to the region of the material atmosphere, even though they sometimes come onto the material plane to execute the mission of the Lord. The sādhana-siddha devotees are chosen from the conditioned souls. Out of the sādhana devotees, there are mixed and pure devotees. The mixed devotees are sometimes enthusiastic about fruitive activities and are habituated to philosophical speculation.

As I completed reading the full purport and was going to the next verse Shyam Sundar Prabhuji asked me sweetly ‘ Prabhuji first please explain this verse to us ‘. I had not really understood the above lines from the purport and so I read them again loudly. Shyam Sundar Prabhuji asked what is the difference between a Nitya Sidha and a pure Sadhna Sidha and whether a Sadhna Sidha can become a Nitya Sidha ? I replied that I have not idea and I  would not like to speculate. HG Vidurpriya Prabhuji taught, with his own example, not speculate when we don’t know the answer. He told us, jokingly, that speculation is like breaking one of the regulative principle, no gambling ! We all discussed it for some time and then it was time to call a devotee for help. I called up HG Karuna Prabhu, who was in train coming back from Mayapaur to Delhi. Prabhuji explained us very nicely. He replied that Nitya Sidhas are eternal servants of Krishna and no one can ever take their place, e.g. Yashoda mayi, Nanda maharaj and so on. On the other hand Sadhna Sidhas are conditioned souls who can reach the same platform as Nitya Sidha, i.e., serving Krishna in the spiritual sky, by virtue of their devotional service but they do not and can not become Krishna’s eternal servants.

Fully Satisfied, by that time I had also checked on reference from Srila Prabhupada and found the below informative piece by His Divine Grace.

There are two kinds of devotees, three: nitya-siddha, sadhana-siddha, krpa-siddha. These things are described in The Nectar of Devotion. Nitya-siddha means they are eternally associate of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. They are called nitya-siddha. And sadhana-siddha means one is fallen in this material world, but by practice of devotional service according to the rules and regulation, injunction of the sastra, direction of guru, in this way, one can reach also the same position as the nitya-siddha. This is sadhana-siddha. And there is another. That is Krpa-siddha. Krpa-siddha means… Just like Nityananda Prabhu. He wanted that these Jagai-Madhai must be delivered. There was no sadhana. They never followed any rules and regulation. They were thieves and rogues, very fallen condition. But Nityananda Prabhu wanted to show an example that “I shall deliver these two brothers. Never mind they are so fallen.” That is called krpa-siddha. So we should always remember there are three categories: nitya-siddha, sadhana-siddha and krpa-siddha. But when they become siddha, perfect, by any process, they are on the same level. There is no distinction.

(Srimad-Bhagavatam 7.9.7 Mayapur, February 27, 1977 )

It is amazing how each of Srila Prabhupada’s purports contains such complete and rich information. It seems each of purport his has keys to so many spiritual informative vaults. It is sad that I still read each verse in a hurry, without absorbing and relishing each single sentence carefully.

And lastly again the point of Sadhu Sangha. I again realised how in the company of intelligent devotees like Shyam Sundar Prabhu, Gaurav prabhu,  I learn 10 times more. Shyam Sundar Prabhu ask questions so tactfully and intelligently. He changes the discussion completely, engaging devotees and making a simple discussion so much more interactive. He cajoles devotees to open up in a very subtle way, always asking open-ended questions. No doubt Prabhuji is so successful in both the material as well as the spiritual world.

The day ended with sumptuous Prasadam by my wife, Priti. It was one of the best ekadeshi prasadam I had and that too with such good company. I really wish and pray that I can have such association every single day for the rest of my life.

sadhu-sanga sadhu-sanga sarva sastre kaya lava matra sadhu sange sarva siddhi haya

The verdict of all revealed scriptures is that by even a moment’s association with a pure devotee, one can attain all success.  (CC. madhya22.54)

All Glories to Srila Prabhupada.

All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

Mayapur trip

by

Hare Krishna.

By the mercy of Sri Guru and Gauranga I was able to visit Sri Mayapur Dhama and then to Jagannath Puri this week. I can write pages and pages about my experience there and am sure the same will be the case with most of us who travel to Dhama and come back with varied realisations and observations. I will try to summarise my experience in brief at both the Dhams in short.

Sri Mayapur Dhama

Planning

I had gone, for the first time, to Mayapur, almost the same time last year with Shyam Sundar Prabhu.  We had planned to go again together and I was looking forward to it. Few weeks before the trip Prabhuji told me that he may not be able to go as he may not get leave from the office. My first internal reaction was to drop the trip and go with him only whenever he could make it. Prabhuji pushed me to go alone or find some devotee but I dragged my feet. He, then, suggested that why don’t I take my family, I wasn’t sure whether they would be willing to come or not. Prabhuji pushed me. I prayed to Srila Prabhupada and asked my wife if we can all go to Mayapur and as a carrot I suggested that from there we can all go to Jagannath Puri and we can all stay in their favorite resort there, Coco palms. She agreed at one go, making my heart leap in the air, it was nothing short of a miracle for me. Later, she also suggested to bring her sister along with us, who too joined us.

Lesson for me :

a. Trust advise from devotees who are close to me, have faith in them and then use my own intelligence to walk that path.

b. Praying to Srila Prabhupada, even for selfish devotional reason, always helps. All I need is to have faith in him.

Arrival

A tour at Mayapur Iskon Temple with family.

For a change we went by an overnight train to Kolkata from Delhi. One reason was of course budget as the ticket prices went too high for my budget and secondly I was advised by Guru Maharaj to travel by train more often. The 2 Tier Rajdhani was comfortable and we reached Kolkata on the dot and there was a cab waiting for us from Mayapur, which I booked via internet the same morning from temple.

We took the longer route via Kalna and it took us almost 5 hours. As we came nearer to Dhama the air changed and suddenly everything looked and felt pure, the air, the scenery, it was so refreshing just to be here. As we took the final sharp left/ U turn from the railway tracks towards ISKCON my heart beat went faster and with great anticipation I crossed many of our previous Acharya’s home, Yoga Pith and finally under the shelter of Srila Prabhupada at ISKCON gates.

All glories to Sri Mayapur Dhama.

There was an initial confusion about the availability of room and I was even getting mentally ready to stay outside the Ashram but then so many devotees came to help and within 20 minutes instead of no room I had choice of rooms in different buildings !

lesson :

a. This lessons holds me good whenever I visit any Dhama. I try to remain in complete surrender to the Dhama, atleast as far as my boarding and lodging goes :). I know Dhama doesn’t need a shudra like me still I have complete faith in my heart that with a mood  of surrender mercy flows, howsoever long may be my list of disqualification.

b. I must learn to go out of my way to help any devotees and never to be indifferent to the smallest of the requests I receive.

Stay

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It was simply transcendental to take the darshan of Pancha Tattavas & Sri Radha Madhav and then sit down and hear HH Radhanath Maharaj doing Kitan, pure bliss. It was tough for me to leave the temple and look after the needs of my family but I did that nevertheless. ISKCON Mayapur wore all the looks of a festive atmosphere, getting ready for a transcendental climax.

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It was a bumper harvest for me as far as seeing so many Sanyasis at a single place and also getting association of senior devotees from Delhi who are usually very busy.

I could meet HG Amogh Lila prabhu. I shared with him how I have recently been diagnosed with a serious disease, by one of the most experienced Sanyasi `doctor’, in which my heart is becoming harder and I am running after only `Jnana’.  Prabhuji prescribed some `medicine’ to get a cure from this dreaded disease, the crux of which was that I must serve out of my comfort zone. Prabhuji said all my devotional activities are centered around my own comfort zone and I must take some activity which make me uncomfortable or is not to my taste ! And then cheering me and bringing me instantly out of my sulky mood he declared that this disease, of having a hard heart and only running after knowledge, and so many other disqualifications are indeed my qualification to get mercy of Gaur Nitai.  In seconds Prabhuji snapped me out of my depressive mood which I was having ever since I was diagnosed with this particular disease. He also instructed me on many practical aspects of my spiritual and material life.

All glories to HG Amogh Lila Prabhu.

I could also grab some quality time from HG Rukmini Prabhu who again gave me practical advice on how to progress in my spiritual journey. It was after a long time that I could open my heart to him without the constraint of time. He instructions to me

1. Improve my chanting

2. Not to write blogs in the office hours ( which I am breaking right now for this blog as I will forget most of my learnings)

3. Serve the local centre more.

4. Donate more. Prabhuji said that I have to ensure that in some way my body, mind and words are being used in the service of the Lord. He also added that the `moha’ of money is more difficult to give up and that I should work on it.

5. Spend more time with family members, take guidance from mature Grahstha devotees to ensure a proper balance.

By the causeless mercy of Lord I got association of so many devotees. I met Karuna Prabhu and Nityananda Ashray Prabhu and Bimlaprasad Prabhuji from Punjabi Bagh temple, they were all there with a large no. of new congregational devotees. They took pity on me and took me and my family along with them for next two days on various trips around the Dhama.

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The lecture Rukmini Prabhuji gave at the Rajapura temple was so very grounded and yet profound in its basic understanding of offering Bhoga to deities.

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Lesson :

a. I must open my heart to my shiksha gurus and admit, without any shame, my shortcomings. I have seen Shyam Sundar Prabhuji practicing it and it took some courage for a weak person like me to start practicing it.

b. I must constantly endeavour to improve `internally’, just improving the externally won’t help me much.

c. I should remember to beat my mind three times a day with a broom because it convinces me every time that I am doing fine as a devotee and do not need any help from devotees.

And then as a bonus I had a great time at whatever Kirtans I could attend, eyes of HH Radhanath Maharaj fell on me purifying me instantly, HH Gopal Krishna Goswami Maharaj met for a brief 30 seconds purifying me further, and finally I could take darshan of Guru Maharaj (more of that I would write separately).

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Each Mangal Arti and Kirtan was special and so was the special maha Abhishek of Pancha Tattavas on 3rd March.

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Hundreds of devotees rubbed and collected chandan and also brought Ganga Jal for the Maha Abhishek.

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On the last day we heard a wonderful SB class by HG Dravida Prabhu. Prabhuji gave us a gem of a verse to meditate upon while praying to Lord. Here it goes.

tvayi me ‘nanya-visaya matir madhu-pate ‘sakrt

ratim udvahatad addha gangevaugham udanvati

Translation:

O Lord of Madhu, as the Ganges forever flows to the sea without hindrance, let my attraction be constantly drawn unto you without being diverted to anyone else.  (SB 1.8.42)

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Shyam Sundar Prabhu, Murari Prabhu and myself have taken timeshare accommodation in an upcoming building in the complex for 60 days in an year. Initially I was wondering that apart from these 4-5 days in March when would I ever go to Mayapur. But on this trip I felt that even all the 60 days could be less as my attachment for MahaPrabhu and Sri Mayapur Dhama grows exponentially.

All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

What is love of Godhead ?

by

Hare Krishna.

26th Feb, 2014, Gurgaon.

Q: Where and how can we get real love in our lives ?
A: Srila Prabhupada explains in the introduction of Chaitanaya Charitramrita :

Even in this material world we can have a little sense of love. How is this possible? It is due to the presence of our original love of God. Whatever we find within our experience within this conditioned life is situated in the Supreme Lord, who is the ultimate source of everything. In our original relationship with the Supreme Lord there is real love, and that love is reflected pervertedly through material conditions. Our real love is continuous and unending, but because that love is reflected pervertedly in this material world, it lacks continuity and is inebriating. If we want real, transcendental love, we have to transfer our love to the supreme lovable object-Kṛṣṇa, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. This is the basic principle of Kṛṣṇa consciousness.

Q: Why did Lord Kṛṣṇa assumed the form of Caitanya Mahāprabhu ?

A: To taste Radharani’s love for Himself.

Srila Prabhupada explains in the introduction of Chaitanaya Charitramrita :

Kṛṣṇa desired to know the glory of Rādhā’s love. “Why is She so much in love with Me?” Kṛṣṇa asked. “What is My special qualification that attracts Her so? And what is the actual way in which She loves Me?” It seems strange that Kṛṣṇa, as the Supreme, should be attracted by anyone’s love. A man searches after the love of a woman because he is imperfect-he lacks something. The love of a woman, that potency and pleasure, is absent in man, and therefore a man wants a woman. But this is not the case with Kṛṣṇa, who is full in Himself. Thus Kṛṣṇa expressed surprise: “Why am I attracted by Rādhārāṇī? And when Rādhārāṇī feels My love, what is She actually feeling?” To taste the essence of that loving exchange, Kṛṣṇa made His appearance in the same way that the moon appears on the horizon of the sea. Just as the moon was produced by the churning of the sea, by the churning of spiritual loving affairs the moon of Caitanya Mahāprabhu appeared.

Q: How can we learn about how to develop ‘ love of Godhead’ ?
A: We can learn it from the teachings of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu.

Srila Prabhupada explains in the introduction of Chaitanaya Charitramrita that

We have often heard the phrase “love of Godhead.” How far this love of Godhead can actually be developed can be learned from the Vaiṣṇava philosophy. Theoretical knowledge of love of God can be found in many places and in many scriptures, but what that love of Godhead actually is and how it is developed can be found in the Vaiṣṇava literatures. It is the unique and highest development of love of God that is given by Caitanya Mahāprabhu.

Caitanya Mahāprabhu informs us that in every country and in every scripture there is some hint of love of Godhead. But no one knows what love of Godhead actually is. The Vedic scriptures, however, are different in that they can direct the individual in the proper way to love God. Other scriptures do not give information on how one can love God, nor do they actually define or describe what or who the Godhead actually is. Although they officially promote love of Godhead, they have no idea how to execute it

Lord Caitanya, preaching as an ācārya, a great teacher, taught that we can enter into a relationship with God and actually become God’s friend, parent or lover. In the Bhagavad-gītā Kṛṣṇa showed Arjuna His universal form because Arjuna was His very dear friend. Upon seeing Kṛṣṇa as the Lord of the universes, however, Arjuna asked Kṛṣṇa to forgive the familiarity of his friendship. Lord Caitanya goes beyond this point. Through Lord Caitanya we can become friends with Kṛṣṇa, and there will be no limit to this friendship. We can become friends of Kṛṣṇa not in awe or adoration but in complete freedom. We can even relate to God as His father or mother. This is the philosophy not only of the Caitanya-caritāmṛta but of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam as well. There are no other scriptures in the world in which God is treated as the son of a devotee. Usually God is seen as the almighty father who supplies the demands of His sons. The great devotees, however, sometimes treat God as a son in their execution of devotional service. The son demands, and the father and mother supply, and in supplying Kṛṣṇa the devotee becomes like a father or mother. Instead of taking from God, we give to God. It was in this relationship that Kṛṣṇa’s mother, Yaśodā, told the Lord, “Here, eat this or You’ll die. Eat nicely.” In this way Kṛṣṇa, although the proprietor of everything, depends on the mercy of His devotee. This is a uniquely high level of friendship, in which the devotee actually believes himself to be the father or mother of Kṛṣṇa.

However, Lord Caitanya’s greatest gift was His teaching that Kṛṣṇa can be treated as one’s lover. In this relationship the Lord becomes so much attached to His devotee that He expresses His inability to reciprocate. Kṛṣṇa was so obliged to the gopīs, the cowherd girls of Vṛndāvana, that He felt unable to return their love. “I cannot repay your love,” He told them. “I have no more assets to give.” Devotional service on this highest, most excellent platform of lover and beloved, which had never been given by any previous incarnation or ācārya, was given by Caitanya Mahāprabhu. Therefore Kṛṣṇadāsa Kavirāja, quoting Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī, writes in the fourth verse of his book, “Lord Caitanya is Kṛṣṇa in a yellow complexion, and He is Śacīnandana, the son of mother Śacī. He is the most charitable personality because He came to deliver kṛṣṇa-prema, unalloyed love for Kṛṣṇa, to everyone. May you always keep Him in your hearts. It will be easy to understand Kṛṣṇa through Him.”

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

The joy of Initiation

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Hare Krishna and Dandavat Pranam.

All Glories to Sri Sri Gauranga, Srila Prabhupada and Gurudev.

Please accept my humble obeisances.

It is so wonderful to receive Giriraj Prabhu’s email detailing ecstatic moments spent in Ujjain during Nityanand Tryodashi 2014. I was really touched as Prabhuji was so excited (genuinely) that 3 devotees are getting initiated from Gurgaon. With Prabhuji, I really understood the meaning of true friend…infact there is nothing in this world like devotee friend as they are friend in true sense.

I will now jump to Gurudev’s meeting with 8 of us on 11th Feb at 3pm – a day before initiation. It was so touching. Maharaj first welcomed all of us asking if we are all comfortable. Then he stated very lovingly that we have to take sadhana bhakti even more seriously and if we make any mistakes then he shall chastise us. To be honest even the word chastise felt like love. Since we have all been accustomed to Guru Maharaj’s ever smiling and loving gestures, there was a bit of question in everyone’s eyes. Guru Maharaj then explained: “When I was a young boy (10-12yrs), I had few servants and one of them was head servant (30-35yrs) who was quite strict with me. Even I was scared of him as all servants used to listen to him and he used to bossify over me too. I was scared of him as the head servant was very close to my father and he used share every detail with my father.” Then Guru Maharaj closed his eyes a bit and said: “I am like that servant who may chastise YOU – “the children of Krishna” so that u are in the right path as per instructions of Krishna. You are Krishna’s children and I am his servant. I am just doing my duty of serving Krishna so you have to listen to me.”

My heart melted and then Guru Maharaj went on: “However every evening around 7:30-8pm, the head servant would take me on his shoulder and give me a ride. I was fascinated by the moon and was bewildered that moon is walking with me. My head servant used to say – I and Moon love you a lot….wherever you will go, we will follow u. Just like that servant, I will always love you and I will be always with you as I am just a servant helping you to go back to Prabhupad who will take you to Krishna.”

Listening to this, my eyes swelled with tears. His humility, surrender and love was unparallel…I have never heard such profound statement and realization from such an example. My throat was wet and I paid my humble obeisances. I gathered myself and said: “I am such a fallen soul and you are taking my demonic karma that I am feeling downcast. You are so loving and humble and I am so sorry that I have done such bad karmas. I promise that I will never ever do it again knowingly” and begged for forgiveness. I really wanted to cry as I was filled with gratitude that such an exalted, loving and realized soul has accepted to be my Guru. I can never ever forget this incident in my life and feeling of my surrender knew no bounds.

Then on the next day, the initiation started whereby Guru Maharaj patiently made us understand the importance of Diksha and made us promise of following 4 regulative principles, 16 rounds and avoid 10 offences. Then he was about to say our initiated name. Like a small boy, I waited pressing my ears, waiting anxiously and he said: “Shyam Sunder Krishna Das”…I was thrilled. I had never imagined such a beautiful name…I could relate instantaneously to the deity “Radha Shyam sunder” of Vrindavan ISKCON temple and the main Radha Shyam sunder deity gifted by Radha Rani to Shyamsunder prabhu. Guru Maharaj then explained the meaning: “All beautiful Lord Krishna.” After sometime, I smiled because in my first meeting with Guru Maharaj (3 yrs back), when I had asked him the meaning of Bhakti Charu, he responded: “Charu=Beautiful; Bhakti=devotion, so it means beautiful in devotion.”

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When the ceremony ended, I was in pure ecstasy to get such a merciful Guru. I sat in my room and wanted to chant the rounds on beads touched by Guru Maharaj. I was inquisitive to touch the beads touched by Guru Maharaj. Like a child I could feel his touch in beads. It was so inspirational.

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After one round, my wife: Shilpi asked me how I am feeling? I said: I am feeling – joyful, ecstasy, liberated, humbled, full of gratitude and more importantly determined and resolute to succeed in spiritual life. Many devotees used to discuss before “how important it is to get initiated?” I sincerely request one must get serious in spiritual life and surely get initiated as its the best moment of one’s life…

I want to thank most profusely – HH Janananda Maharaj who taught me how to chant 16 rounds when I was not able to move beyond 10 rounds. He also taught me simplicity and servitude mood.

I also want to thank few devotees who really helped me to reach here – Ajay Prabhu (Burijana Prabhu aspiring disciple) who introduced me to Krishna Consciousness and HG Dayananda Prabhu from Australia, my loving brother – HG Vishnu Yagna Prabhu in Jaipur who introduced me to Guru Maharaj and guided me selflessly; HG Mukund Murari Prabhu who removed lot of cobwebs when my mind was cluttered how to select Guru; HG Achyut Hari Prabhu who helped me to get association in Gurgaon; HG Giriraj Prabhu who is my best friend and true love relationship and my wife Shilpi who is more pure than me and was constant companion in serving all senior Vaishnavas and Sanniyasis.

This was such powerful moment that even writing this I am feeling again very high and rejuvenated….Pls pray for me that I keep serving you all; I imbibe same love that our Guru Maharaj has for everyone, I do not offend anyone and that my attachment to Guru, His Godbrothers, Vaishnavas and eventually Lord keeps increasing..

Guru Dev ki Jai!

Samved Bhakt Vrind ki Jai…

Very fallen and menial servant,

Shyam Sunder Krishna Das

Initiation ceremony at Ujjain on Nityananda Trayodasi

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Hare Krishna.

12th Feb, 2014, Ujjain.

There was an excitement in the air today morning. Today was Nityananda Trayodasi and initiations for the 8 fortunate devotees.

I got up a bit late, around 4.15am  and hurriedly got ready and was in the temple hall at 4.40am for the mangal arti. The temple hall was almost full. Guru Maharaj was singing the Guruvastakam in his ever melodious voice and devotees were in a transcendental trance completely absorb in the hearing Guru Maharaj’s voice and seeing the beautiful deities of Sri Radha Madanmohan, Sri Krishna Balram and Sri Gaur Nitai. Guru Maharaj left the temple hall after attending the Tulasi Arti. I felt cold and left for my room to chant and catch up with some sleep. I met Sumeet Prabhu on my way back to the room and we spoke for 15-20 minutes, I was as excited as prabhuji for his initiation ceremony.

I chanted my rounds for an hour and then tried to catch up with sleep. There was a knock on the door, I opened the door with half closed eyes, it was Sumeet Prabhu. He came inside and asked me if Giriraj Prabhu is here !! I told him I am his fallen servant, he laughed as he couldn’t recognise me in my night suite and without glasses. He need help to tie his Dhoti. When he left the room it was already 7.20am.

I changed and rushed back to temple to attend Guru Puja, which was half over. Everyone was waiting for the altar to open. Guru Maharaj was inside the altar room. One devotee told me that today’s darshan is going to be a special with peacock dress for the Deities.

The conch shell blew and t he altar doors opened, what a wonderful darshan. Deities seemed to be basking in their new dress !

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As we started singing govindam adi–purusham tam aham bhajami I suddenly heard peacocks singing in the temple. I looked back but there were no peacocks. I, then, realised that some enthusiastic devotee is mixing the sound of peacocks within the prayer and making it feel like as if peacocks are here !

After the arti everyone was waiting for the initiation ceremony to start. I chanted some more rounds basking in the bright sun in the corner of the outside verandah.

I saw Guru Maharaj going inside the temple hall. A quick dandavat and I ran inside the temple hall. Guru Maharaj gave an excellent lecture on importance of initiation. Few quick points which I was able to note on my mobile, please pardon me if there are any mistakes.

  1. Initiation means the beginning of the spiritual journey. Initiation is a formality, like we formally get admission in a school and get degree. We can study at home also but without a degree it is not recognised. Similarly without surrendering to a spiritual master the devotional journey is not recognised.

  2. The Sanskrit word diksha is a compound word and is derived from the two words ‘divya Jnana’ meaning  ‘transcendental knowledge’ and ‘kshiyate’ the verb ‘to destroy’. Hence it means that transcendental knowledge which destroy all sins.

  3. The spiritual master gives `Divya Jnana’ and the disciple goes back to the spiritual world. We need a vehicle to go to the spiritual world and that vehicle is the process of initiation.

  4. Mantra is actually the element which reveals the knowledge, by chanting the mantra and by meditating on the mantra.

  5. Earlier the mantras were kept secret and were given to the qualified disciples only. These were chanted in the ear so that others can not hear them.

  6. This was the process for mantra what to speak to Maha mantra. The difference is like machine gun and nuclear bomb, only very few add access to it. Similarly the we can take the example of diamond and Kohinoor diamond, the topmost diamond.

  7. Guru maharaj explained that beggars can never become millionaires. Only a king can make a beggar a millionaire. But kings  generally don’t do that. What if the king becomes mad, mad in Krishna Prema. So mahaPrabhu has asked Nityananda Prabhu to distribute this to everyone.

  8. Earlier only a Brahmin and that too only a qualified Brahmin could get a mantra. But MahaPrabhu kept no qualification or caste, anyone was welcome. MahaPrabhu asked Nityananda prabhu to distribute to everyone.

  9. MahaPrabhu said that `you can buy me through Mahamantra’.

  10. This way we are getting something which is not rare for even Lord Brahma and Lord Siva.

  11. Guru Maharaj then added that had Srila Prabhupada not gone to America and started ISKCON where would be all of us today ? What were we doing before joining ISKCON ? So we should realise our good fortune that we have got the top most mantra.

  12. Guru maharaj finally added that we need to take care of the offenses while chanting as offenses prevent Mahamantra to become effective. As an analogy consider what is common between a seed and a banyan tree. If the seed gets proper care then it becomes a tree. Similarly if we have faith as a fertiliser then we will see mahamantra as Krishna Himself. We need faith in our heart to make our heart fertile. Once the seed  becomes seedling then this `bhaktilata bija’ will grow and cross the material world, cross the Vraja river and then cross Vaikuntha and then land at the lotus feet of Krishna.

  13. Flower of this tree is bhava' and fruit of this tree is KrishnaPrema’.

  14. We must start our chanting with a prayer to Krishna to please protect me so that I don’t chant with offenses.

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Then the initiation ceremony began with chanting of Brahma Samhita. Guru Maharaj again stressed that verses 29 to 56 are the very essence of Srimad Bhagavatam and we must understand and memorise them. All devotees were provided with printed copies of these verses and everyone recited them with Guru maharaj. The most fortunate devotees received their Hari Nama Diksha from Guru Maharaj. Guru Maharaj asked  to each of these devotees to promise him to never leave ISCKON come what may, they all promised.

And then the `Yajnana’ began.

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The ceremony  got over in next 30 minutes. Newly initiated devotees, purified and elated, came out to take blessings from everyone around them. The whole atmosphere was a mix of excitement and joy. We were all under the divine sky of Ujjain Dhama.

All glories to Nityananada Trayodasi.

All glories to the newly initiated devotees.

All glories to the Guru Parampara.

All glories to Guru Maharaj.

All Glories to Sandipani Muni.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Kirtan Mela at Ujjain

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Hare Krishna.

11th Feb, 2014, Ujjain.

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A trip to Ujjain is always very special. This time the trip had multiple causes. Firstly I had got initiated on Nityananda Trayodasi last year and I wanted to be with Guru Maharaj on this day. The second, far more joyous, reason was that my very dear friend, mentor and elder brother Sumeet Prabhu was going to get initiated along with two other senior devotees from Gurgaon, Pawan Prabhu and Pooja Mataji, on the same day. Thirdly there was a Kirtan mela at Ujjain temple and we would be able to attend atleast the 3rd day.

We reached Ujjain on 11th morning. I was fortunate to get a chance to travel with Sumeet Prabhu and his family and during the trip, as always, he subtly taught me many things. As a bonus HG Radhe Shyam Prabuji too travelled with us and in the morning I did chanted sitting with him for 3 hours. I was very inspired by his calm face and how he did his chanting with eyes closed and chanting softly. I tried to copy him by trying to close my eyes and chant but could not hold my eyes close for a more than few minutes before something or other will break my concentration. But I am going to try practicing it once I am back home.

Whenever I come to any ISKCON temple I feel like a girl who has come back to her parent’s home, her `mayakaa’. As soon we reached Pooja mataji called us to hurry up as HH BB Govinda Maharaj was playing for the last time before leaving Ujjain. I hurried and reached in time to hear maharaj live for the first time, HG Madhava Prabhu and his team were playing the musical instruments. The temple hall was almost full.

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What a performance, it usually takes me some time to get `tuned’ into a Kirtan, especially if it is a large performance. It was within seconds that I was totally immersed in the kirtan. Maharaj has such a deep and powerful voice, after a few minutes I felt purified as if I have taken a bath in the Ganges river. The whole experience was awesome ! I sang so loudly that many a times my lungs and throat protested at such sudden enthusiasm ! It was food for my soul. After a while HH Chandramauli Swami Maharaja started dancing, he danced like a well trained dancer, dancing for the pleasure of Sri Radha Madanmohan. I felt the devdasi would similarly dance in front of Lord Jagannath. Then few more devotees followed Maharaj and then few more and in a short span the whole temple was dancing in sheer ecstasy of the Hole Name.

All glories to HH Bhakti Bhringa Govinda Swami Maharaja !

Guru Maharaj came towards the end of maharaj’s kirtan, and once the kirtan was over, Guru Maharaj glorified HH BB Govinda Maharaj profusely and praised his preaching and kirtan programs all over the world. HH BB Govinda Maharaj, who was leaving for Bangladesh, too glorified Guru Maharaj. He complimented Guru Maharaj . He complimented Guru Maharaj on the magnificent temple, beautiful Deities, top class service for the Deities and then added that he has never tasted a more delicious prasadam, as he had in last 3 days, in any temple all over the ISKCON world ! He also agreed to Guru Maharaj’s request to visit Ujjain again. They both hugged each other with such affection that it brought spontaneous clapping and Hari Bol from all devotees.

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It was prasdam time and I was quite hungry. We had a sumptuous prasadam at the temple food hall with first class food and wonderful hospitality by local devotees. I also caught up with senior devotees from Jaipur Murari Prabhu and Vineet Prabhu, Mukunda Prabhu, so many Brahmachari’s from the temple and yet some more familiar devotees from all across the world. In just few hours I had completely forgotten that I even have a material life!

The next session started at 4pm. By the time I entered the temple hall it was already 5pm and  HH Chandramauli Swami Maharaja was doing the Kirtan. After his excellent Kirtan for an hour it was the turn of HG Madhav Prabhu to perform.

If HH BB Govinda Maharaj’s kirtan was like taking a dip in Ganges than Prabhuji’s kirtan was like being transported straight to Vrindavan. He sang slow, deep and with so much heart into it that I almost cried while singing in the Kirtan. Prabhuji has a special mercy of Aindra Prabhu on him.

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All glories to HG Madhav Prabhu and his team members.

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I was trying to click the above picture of a devotee deep in the trance of Holy name when I heard a flurry of activity on my right side. I could see in the camera frame itself that devotees were turning to greet someone. As I hastily turned, and my phone shook to get the above hazy picture, I saw Guru Maharaj walking in with his ever enchanting smile.

Guru Maharaj was back in the temple ! After HG Madhav Prabhuji’s kirtan was over Guru Maharaj glorified and thanked him for such wonderful kirtan and how they are so popular throughout the world. They too were all praise for Guru Maharaj and the temple.

The Last session of the Kirtan Mela was led by Guru Maharaj. What can one say now! Guru Maharaj started with a slow pace and then picked up the beats. For the fourth time in the day the whole temple was again dancing jubilantly. Devotees won’t let Guru Maharaj stop the Kirtan! Children, women, elders, everyone was dancing on the tune of Guru Maharaj.

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After the ecstatic kirtan Guru Maharaj gave a brief but serious lecture on the importance of Hari Nama. He said that the whole purpose of organising the Kirtan mela was to attract people to chant of the Holy name of the Lord.

By hearing just one full day of kirtana I felt as if my soul is satiated till its very core.

It was already 9.15 pm and we all had another dose of sumptuous prasadam. After spending some time with Vineet Prabhu, I retired to my room around 11.45pm.

All glories to the Kirtan mela.

All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

Staying among the cows

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Hare Krishna.

9th February, 2014, Vrindavan Dhama.

I had not been to Vrindavan Dhama since last Kartika, which is a shame as I live just a 2.5 hour drive away.

It was a double bonanza trip for me, first HH Janananada Maharaj was there and he had agreed to give me some time, he is a very simple, austere and humble Sanyasi. In the words of HH Gopal Krishna Goswami Maharaj he is one of the hidden jewels of ISKCON. Maharaj always stay at ISKCON Goshala. The second  bonanza was that Sumeet prabhu got me a room at the same Goshala. I have no love for cows and I thought staying close to them I might inculcate some love for cows.

I left on Saturday noon and reached Goshala around 4 pm. I had planned to change, take darshan of the Deities and then meet Maharaj. As I got down from the car and turned towards the Goshala building I saw HH Janananada Maharaj walking with his assistant. I paid my obeisances, he was pleasantly surprised to see me and said that he is  going for a program and might get late so he will see me tomorrow morning. I kept on walking with Maharaj and after some time requested him if I too could attend the program. He agreed to my request, the program was at ISCKON hospice. Maharaj refused to sit in my car and chose to walk stating that it was a short distance and he always prefers to walk.

We reached the hospice and the program started Maharaj gave a very nice lecture on SB 1.7.7.

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My points of learning from the lecture:

1. Srimad Bhagavatam is the fruit of vedic knowledge, we should be concerned with the fruit rather than getting lost in the vast vedic knowledge.

2. Knowledge is good but what we do with the knowledge is more important. Maharaj gave many examples from Srimad bhagavatam like Hiranyaksha, who had the knowledge about spirit soul but still utilised it for the wrong purpose.

3. False ego means false identity, we are thinking of ourselves at the bodily platform rather than as a spirit soul. Maharaj gave the example that if a person is watching TV along with his dog and is totally immersed in the TV program, laughing, crying, etc. watching it. The dog must wonder why my master is behaving in such an odd way. The dog is not connected with the TV and will wonder if his master has gone crazy! Maharaj said similarly in today’s time we identify with our wallet and now mobile phone and how badly we lament when we lose our mobile phone as if our life air is lost.

4. Maharaj concluded the session by instructing us that we to see everything in relation with Krishna and not with ourselves. This is what Guru maharaj also always teach us that Krishna should be in the centre and not us.

As maharaj was leaving and reached the main gate of the building, he turned back and asked the doctor accompanying us that he wants to see the facilities and meet the patients. We turned back and then Maharaj went through the facilities, there weren’t too many patients, and the building, though simple, was well maintained. Then we went to the top floor and met patients. We were told that they are all cancer patients, at their last stage. Srila Prabhupada’s kirtan was playing in each room and somehow the atmosphere was not that of complete gloom.

Maharaj went and met every single patient. He held their hand, consoled them not to fear and told them to chant the Holy name. Maharaj was full of compassion.

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We came back to Goshala, I took permission to get fresh and take darshan of the Deities. I checked into my room. It was a very simple room, just a bed and nothing else, the bathroom was neat and simple. Standing outside the room the air smelled fresh, though scented with cowdung, hay and other paraphernalia.

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I went to the temple and took darshan of Their Lordships. It is always a very humbling experience standing in from of Krishna & Balram and facing music in the heart that my progress in spiritual journey is negligible and no efforts in preaching. I took darshan and told Them I would try harder and begged for their mercy. I could get Mahaprasad from the counter for dinner.

I came back to Goshala. I found the ambiance here very soothing, a pleasant change from all the hustle and bustle around the temple. I felt as if I in a different Vrindavan. To my surprise I found that the geyser in my bathroom is not working and I wondered how to take a cold morning bath but then Maharaj’s assistant came to my rescue and told me that I can get warm water from Maharaj’s bathroom. I honoured the Maharaprasadam in the room and was in the bed by 9pm. It was very calm and serene barring some noises from cows and monkeys which I actually liked.

I got up without the alarm as at 3 am, I felt as if the whole place has come suddenly alive. There was some generator or machine which started with great noise and the people were moving around, cows and what not. One Brahmachari was already taking a bath my bathroom, as he came outside I asked him `Is the geyser working?’ He said the water is fine, though not hot it is not very cold also. It gave me courage to enter the washroom and I thought if he could take it then so could I. I opened the tap of the geyser and there was no difference in the temperature and water was so cold! All my thoughts and courage of taking a cold water bath got evaporated immediately and I shamelessly went toward’s Maharaj’s room to get warm water. Maharaj came out and gave me an inquiring look. I explained about the geyser and Maharaj told me to take water from his bathroom. As I came out of room after getting ready, I was not ready for the chill and it is some walk to the main temple from here. As I walked out I saw a Brahmachari starting his scooter. I requested him for a lift till the temple and I was right in time for Prabhupada arti at his samadhi.

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As I stood there with darkness all around me and just the light from Samadhi illuminating I wondered if  this shows that unless I take shelter under the lotus feet of Srila Prabhupada I will remain in darkness.

Then it was time for the mangal arti and surprisingly for a Sunday it was not all packed up and I found a good place to stand in front of the altar. The Kirtan peaked at 4.30am and the altar doors opened.

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Mangal arti darshan is always very very special and somehow it always reminds me of Krishna Lila. After a melodious arti and then Tulasi pooja, I went to Srila Prabhupada’s quarter to chant my rounds.  I felt too cold there and had to take shelter of the guest house reception where I paced from one side to another to keep myself warm.

It was then time for the Shringar darshan and Guru Puja.

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I wonder how the beauty of the Deities at Vrindavan always seemed to increased every time and They always look so fresh as if  They have just came out after taking a bath, Nava Yauvana.

Morning class was by HH Bhakti Marg swami Maharaj. Two lessons I learnt

1. Looking into the past is in the mode of tamoguna (ignorance), looking into the future is in the mode of rajoguna ( passion) and looking or putting our consciousness into the present is in the mode of Satoguna    (goodness).

2. Our philosophy is not so much devotion to Krishna but devotion to Krishna’s devotees.

I had a quick breakfast at Govinda’s and then came back to Goshala. There was a group of new devotees who had arrived from Punjabi Bagh temple with two Brahmacharis.

All glories to preaching !

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I met Maharaj again. He spoke about working on the `internal’ as well `external’. He explained that our internal consciousness is known only to us unless we confide in some devotee. Hence externally devotees may correct us in chanting properly, correct our pronunciation, our dress, etc. but internally we have to work ourselves very consciously as only we know this internal status.

Maharaj also advice that`Grahsthas’ must maintain at least a basic standard for Deity worship. He explained very nicely that if one learns all the rules and regulations when learning to drive a car then it may get little cumbersome in the beginning but later it will help a lot when one would drive almost without remembering but still following the rules. He said imagine a driver who learns without any rules and what kind of driver that person will turn out in the future.

I left Dhama at noon after taking darshan of Their Lordships.

All glories to Sri Radha Shyamsundar

All Glories to Sri Krishna Balram.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.