Tag Archives: Madhavanada Prabhuji

Daksa curses lord Siva

by

Hare Krishna.

28th July, 2015. Gurgaon.

Photobucket

I continue to hear the most amazing seminar given by HG Srimati Mataji on ‘demons in Krishna’s pastimes and the anarthas they represent’. four days back I heard a beautiful interactive discussion during the seminar with Srimati Mataji, HG Madhavananda Prabhuji and other very realised, and fortunate, devotees.

This particular discussion was part of ‘Krishna kills Kamsa’. The reference of pastime of Dakṣa and lord Siva came to discuss the anartha of pride, coming from karma and jnana.

Here is the relevant section from Srimad Bhagavatam to refresh that incident which led to Daksa cursing lord Siva.

When Daksa, the leader of the Prajäpatis, entered that assembly, his personal bodily luster as bright as the effulgence of the sun, the entire assembly was illuminated, and all the assembled personalities became insignificant in his presence. Influenced by his personal bodily luster, all the fire-gods and other participants in that great assembly, with the exceptions of Lord Brahmä and Lord Siva, gave up their own sitting places and stood in respect for Daksa.

Daksa was adequately welcomed by the president of the great assembly, Lord Brahmä. After offering Lord Brahmä respect, Daksa, by the order of Brahmä, properly took his seat.

Before taking his seat, however, Daksa was very much offended to see Lord Siva sitting and not showing him any respect. At that time, Daksa became greatly angry, and, his eyes glowing, he began to speak very strongly against Lord Siva. All sages, brahmanas and fire-gods present, please hear me with attention, for I speak about the manners of gentle persons. I do not speak out of ignorance or envy. Siva has spoiled the name and fame of the governors of the universe and has polluted the path of gentle manners. Because he is shameless, he does not know how to act. He has already accepted himself as my subordinate by marrying my daughter in the presence of fire and brahmanas. He has married my daughter, who is equal to Gäyatri, and has pretended to be just like an honest person. He has eyes like a monkey’s, yet he has married my daughter, whose eyes are just like those of a deer cub. Nevertheless he did not stand up to receive me, nor did he think it fit to welcome me with sweet words. I had no desire to give my daughter to this person, who has broken all rules of civility. Because of not observing the required rules and regulations, he is impure, but I was obliged to hand over my daughter to him just as one teaches the messages of the Vedas to a Sudra. He lives in filthy places like crematoriums, and his companions are the ghosts and demons. Naked like a madman, sometimes laughing and sometimes crying, he smears crematorium ashes all over his body. He does not bathe regularly, and he ornaments his body with a garland of skulls and bones. Therefore only in name is he Siva, or auspicious; actually, he is the most mad and inauspicious creature. Thus he is very dear to crazy beings in the gross mode of ignorance, and he is their leader. (SB 4.2.5-15)

“Daksa then cursed Lord Siva. Unable to tolerate this, Nandishvara, one of Lord Siva’s principal associate cursed Daksa and all the brahmanas present. Then, as a reaction the sage Bhrgu cursed the followers of Lord Siva.”

Brainstorm -1

The sage Maitreya said: When such cursing and counter cursing was going on between Lord Śiva’s followers and the parties of Dakṣa and Bhṛgu, Lord Śiva became very morose. Not saying anything, he left the arena of the sacrifice, followed by his disciples. (SB 4.2.33)

Srila Prabhupada writes in his purport for the above verse : Here Lord Śiva’s excellent character is described. In spite of the cursing and counter cursing between the parties of Dakṣa and Śiva, because he is the greatest Vaiṣṇava he was so sober that he did not say anything. A Vaiṣṇava is always tolerant, and Lord Śiva is considered the topmost Vaiṣṇava, so his character, as shown in this scene, is excellent. He became morose because he knew that these people, both his men and Dakṣa’s, were unnecessarily cursing and counter cursing one another, without any interest in spiritual life. From his point of view, he did not see anyone as lower or higher, because he is a Vaiṣṇava. As stated in Bhagavad-gītā (5.18), paṇḍitāḥ sama-darśinaḥ: one who is perfectly learned does not see anyone as lesser or greater, because he sees everyone from the spiritual platform. Thus the only alternative left to Lord Śiva was to leave in order to stop his follower, Nandīśvara, as well as Bhṛgu Muni, from cursing and counter cursing in that way.

Brainstorm -2

People’s association with karma and jnana is the result of attachment born from the prejudices of one’s nature that are produced from past karma and jnana…Karmis and jnanis disrespect Vaishnavas only due to this attachment for prejudices…Offenses at the feet of sadhus is due to being proud of one’s karma and jnana…(Such) worldly attachment is contrary to acceptance of Krishna’s undisputed supremacy, and it therefore does not allow the unfortunate living entity to fully surrender to the Lord. (Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura’s Sri Bhaktyaloka, “Sanga-tyaga”)

Srimati Mataji then asked the devotees to share there realisation or understanding from the above hearing.

Devotee 1: She shared how when she read the same pastime in Harivamsa Purana there was no mention of how Sati gave up her body and how Siva was offended and how it is given in complete detail in Srimad Bhagavatam. And without these details one could miss  the whole point from this pastime. So we are very fortunate to have Srimad Bhagavatam and Prabhupada commentaries.

Srimati Mataji then recounted the same day’s morning lecture which a Sanyasi, I couldn’t get the name, gave at the temple. Maharaj compared Srimad Bhagavatam to the other puranas. Maharaj stated that a major difference between other puranas and Bhagavata Purana  is that the Bhagvata purana is concerned only with glorification of Krishna and His devotees. This is a very common thing which is happening throughout the Bhagavatam. Where as there are different emphasis in other puranas, they basically talk about God, they are not talking about Krishna and His associates. In Bhagavatam we get the essence of all things.

The devotee then shared how so many people who have read shastra they keep on arguing about what they read, how their own understanding is right, I know this and I have read that…. but it is only after reading Bhagavatam does one get complete understanding and knowledge.

Srimati mataji added that in the teachings of Lord Kapila Deva in SB 3.29, Lord Kapila states that devotional service is never contaminated but the people who perform are! And they can actually perform it in eighty one different ways, eighty one different modes. (SB 3.29.10). Mataji said this is where the quality of humility comes in.

Srimati Mataji said that these days humility is going out of the window, and we can see how it is going out. Mataji asked ‘Why in the Vedic times, in the gurukul, students would clean everything, they will clean the toilets, they will clean their ashram, wash their own clothes – didn’t send them to a Dhobi.  Why ?  Because if we want the knowledge to manifest in our heart in a pure and simple way then there has to be humility. And by doing those menial services we imbibe that mood. That we are not someone special. Not like everyone else can clean the ashram and I can read a book! not like that. Mataji said that’s how we see that the real sadhus in Vrindavan they don’t have cleaners. They do everything themselves, they wash their own clothes, they don’t have cooks. I am Thakurji’s servant… I am living here as a servant….servant does these things…servant cleans the house…servant cooks for Thakurji, this is the mood.

Devotee 2: She stated that her understanding from the above is that its Pride which leads one to his downfall. Daksa is expecting respect from Siva, similarly if we have this kind of expectation that people should respect me then it is a sure sign that we will fall down.

Srimati mataji : I really like the input given by Bhaktivinoda Thakura about this attachment to karma and jnana. Daksha was really like a karmi, a first class karmi! So his whole analysis of Siva is through those lenses, Siva doesn’t follow rules and regulations, doesn’t take his bath, and all this stuff. He is looking at him through karma yoga.

Devotee 1 : And Daksa may be he thinking that Siva is making his daughter fall down by not following all the rules,  he is not taking bath and all, whereas Daksha had trained his daughter with such high standards!

Devotee 3: This devotee shared that she liked the first devotee’s point of Bhagavatam being so nice and we being so fortunate. She shared how in her initial days in ISKCON she had no ‘ruchi’ (taste) for reading Bhagavatam. Then one prabhuji told her that for increasing attachment, reading Bhagavatam, if we offer one Tulasi to Bhagavatam then Krishna becomes pleased because He is non different from Bhagavatam! And if you offer Tulasi every day then ‘ruchi’ will come. The devotee shared how she started doing it and she started getting taste. Within a short time she not  only developed a ‘ruchi’ for bhagavatam but was also received association so  many devotees who were all Bhagavatam lovers. Hari Bol !

Madhavanada Prabhuji : Srila Prabhupada writes that both his men and Dakṣa’s, were unnecessarily cursing and counter cursing one another, without any interest in spiritual life. Prabhuji quoted Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura, who stated that, when people cultivate ‘information-collection’, they cultivate ‘jnana’, they cultivate ‘karma’, some behavioral patterns, without cultivating service to the Vaishnavas, then what happens is that they think that’s spiritual life. And they think that they have  become a judge of other people. Rather than they are trying to serve guru, it doesn’t mean that we should not read Bhagavatam- Prabhupada wanted every devotee to read it. But it is one thing to read Bhagavatam as a service to Prabhupada but many other people in the west, we used try to kind of  ‘master’ a book. Prabhuji stressed that we can’t ‘master’ Bhagavatam, we can serve the Bhagavatam by serving ‘bhakt’ (devotee) Bhagavat,  by preaching, by reading something and trying to help devotees with it.

Prabhuji cautioned that if we just read Bhagavatam only to gather some information, and not doing service, then the result is that we have something but what it turns into is pride! Prabhuji said that’s what it seemed to have happened here, Daksa was seeing that Siva is not auspicious, he wears skulls , doesn’t take bath and this and that. By some point of view of Shastra we can say that, the skulls are very inauspicious, not taking bath is very inauspicious and they have all this information. But because they are not doing service to the Vaishanavas they can’t understand it and they get involve in unnecessary quarrel!

Prabhuji said without service one may think that I am doing the same thing as this senior devotee. I am reading , he is reading, I am chanting, he is chanting but there is a difference in their mood. That devotees is doing it as a service to his guru. And if I am not doing it as a service then the result is I get very proud and then I start seeing faults in others, and feel that I have to correct others.

Devotee 4: This devotee said her that she felt inspired from the line ‘lord Siva felt morose and left the arena without saying any word to others or his disciples’. She shared that she thought that if we really know where we are, where do we want to go and  what we want to cultivate then we should not get involve in such things. People can curse and counter curse and if they don’t have faith in you, obviously Daksa had no faith in lord Siva, then just don’t say anything, let them think what they wish to think and just leave.

Madhavanada Prabhuji shared how one acharya has explained that Krishna told the Vrajavasis to close their eyes in both the pastimes of forest fires. But the in the second forest time the next verse stated that the heat was very intense. Prabhuji shared that he thought it was very interesting that though Krishna told them to close their eyes they could still experience the pain and the fire. Prabhuji stated that in a Similar way we may close our eyes to all these arguments we are told to but sometime we still feel the ‘burning sensation’ but like Lord Siva we should just walk away. The ‘burning sensation’ may be there but we should just leave.

Prabhuji shared another gem that Fakir Mohan Prabhuji shared with him that `amanina manadena’ (one should offer all respects to others and expect nothing in return) this is the secret Mahāprabhu has given for our bhajan. Prabhuji said if we just tolerate when other people offend us and we offer them respect then they will leave us alone and ignore us. They won’t take us very seriously. Then we can chant peacefully.  Others may think that O! he is not such a  maha pandit we thought so, actually I am the maha Pandita. We don’t need a big titles or others to say that he is very knowledgeable to grow in bhakti.

Devotee 1: She shared how she heard in a lecture by HH Radha Govinda Maharaj that his (Siva’s) part (or share) in the sacrificial fire,  lord Siva (in the above pastime), he really didn’t want it. Similarly at the time at the time of ‘churning of the milk ocean’ lord Siva didn’t come for drinking the Nectar. He is not interested.

Madhavanada Prabhuji added that when demigods first went to Krishna, how we are going to solve this problem- poison came out.  Then Krishna said ‘go and ask lord Siva’. They approached lord Siva. Lord Siva told them why are you asking me ? You should ask Krishna. When demigods told him that Krishna told them to see him then lord Siva said Oh! I have service! He went with demigods and drank the poison instead of the nectar.

The devotee recounted how in  the class HH Radha Govind maharaj exclaimed ‘What a nice person!’. He just drank poison for the benefit of everyone but for the nectar he didn’t come. He doesn’t need anything he has got the Amrit (holy name).

This whole discussion felt so nectarean to my ears that I heard it repeatedly. Every time I will hear it, I would catch something new. Then I felt inspired to share it with everyone. I am sorry that this blog went too long, I hope, somehow, I am able to funnel this nectar into my childish words and serve you all in a small way.

All glories to Srimad Bhagavatam.

All glories to lord Shiva.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

How to worship Nityanananda Prabhu ?

by

Hare Krishna.

25th April, 2015. Gurgaon.

Last Saturday was a very special day as HG Madhavananda Prabhuji, along with his kindhearted wife KrishnaKunda Mataji, purified our home. Prabhuji stayed only for day but he enlightened all of us with his deep insights into Krishna consciousness.

Madhavanda Prabhuji 1

During the discussions at home Prabhuji asked do I know why do we offer chappan bhoga (56 dishes) to Krishna ? I replied in negative. After a while Prabhuji searched and came back to share the mystery of offering chappan bhoga to Lord.

When Krishna lifted Govardhan mountain for seven days he couldn’t eat anything . After seven days when the whole lila was over, Brajawasis were very happy and they offered Lord Krishna food for what he had missed throughout those seven days. Mother Yashoda used to feed Krishna eight times a day. Hence the number became  7 x 8 = 56

So they made fifty-six different things for Lord Krishna and offered Him as a token of their love and gratitude. Thus began the tradition of offering “Chhappan Bhog” to Supreme Lord on festive occasions.

All glories to Govardhan Lila!

Although Prabhuji was very tired, his next day was a hectic same day return trip to Vrindavan, yet he agreed to our request to visit the  deity installation ceremony at the home of Shyamvihari prabhuji.

We entered the packed home of Shyamvihari Prabhuji, everyone was dancing  to the kirtan by HG Sriniket prabhuji. We took darshan of very beautiful Nitai Gaura Sundar.

Nita Gaura Sundar

Madhavananda Prabhuji spoke very briefly, less than 30 minutes, but Prabhuji mesmerised everyone with his deep thought process and made everyone think too. I am sharing some nectar.

Madhavanda Prabhuji 3

Prabhuji first sang a beautiful bhajan by an anonymous vaishanava called Krishna Das. I request readers to kindly read it carefully and absorb the English translation of each para carefully as the whole session was based on it and these lines will get quoted again.

adoña daraçi mora prabhu nityänanda

nä bhajinu hena prabhura caraëärabinda

I pray that Lord Nityananda will not look at my sins, I did not worship the Lord’s lotus feet.

häya re nä jäni mu-i kemana asura

pä”ä nä bhajinu hena dayära öhäkura

Alas! I did not know. What a demon I was. I did not worship Lord Nitai, the Lord of mercy.

häya re abhägära präëa ki sukhe ächaha

nitä-i baliyä kena mariyä nä yäha

O my unfortunate heart! Will you ever become happy? Why do you not call out, “Nitai!”, and die.

nitä-ira karuëä çuni päñäëa miläya

häya re daruëa hiyä nä darabe täya

When they hear of Lord Nitai’s mercy, even the stones melt. O my cruel heart, you do not melt when you hear His glories.

nitä-i caitanya aparädha nähi mane

yäre täre nija prema-bhakti kare däne

To persons who do not offend Lord Chaitanya, Lord Nitai gives the gift of spiritual love and devotion.

tära näma la-ite nä gale mora hiyä

kåñëa-däsa kahe mu-i baòa abhägiyä

Alas! The Lord’s holy name does not rest on my throat or in my heart. Krishna Das says: I am very unfortunate.

After the above prayer, Madhavanand Prabhuji started the session by first quoting the below verse

vande sri-krishna-caitanya-nityanandau sahoditau

gaudodaye pushpavantau citrau san-dau tamo-nudau ( cc Adi lila 1.2)

 Translation

I offer my respectul obeisances unto Sri Krishna Caitanya and Lord Nityananda, who are like the sun and moon. They have arisen simultaneously on the horizon of Gauda to dissipate the darkness of ignorance and thus wonderfully bestow benediction upon all.

Prabhuji explained that Gaur Nitai have arisen simultaneously and it is difficult to say who among Them is the Sun and who is the moon. Sun and moon are very auspicious and hence whatever auspicious qualities are there in Sun and moon are there in Gaura Nitai. Prabhuji mentioned  that sun drives away all darkness but Gaura Nitai drives away darkness even from those parts which are sheltered from the sun. If we are sitting in a closed room, with all doors and windows locked, then no sunshine can enter that room but if someone gets mercy of Gaura Nityananada then even the dark cave of our heart become illuminated!

The Sun also purifies everything,  even the most contaminated things like urine and stool too get purified under the sun. Similarly we also hide the most contaminated things in our heart which are comparable to urine and stool. The sun can not purify things in our heart because sun can not see them but the mercy of Gaura Nityananada can purify all the contamination in our heart! Similarly moon helps things grow and in the same way Gaura Nitai help our bhakti creeper, `bhakti lata beeja’, to grow and it is very very cooling, it helps extinguish the fire of this materialistic life.

Prabhuji said, as we are installing Gaur Nitai deities, we must understand what does it mean by worshiping Gaura Nitai ? They didn’t come into this world to be worshiped as Deities. We have to follow Their mood.  Prabhuji sang the famous line

uttama adhama kichhu na kaila bichara,…

Lord Nityananda  never discriminates whether one is uttama or adhama, most elevated or most degraded. Gaur Nitai do not see any designations, who is an Indian, who is an western, who is a brahmin, who is a mallecha. They give Their mercy to every one. And this is really Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s mercy, this is really Mahaprabhu’s movement and this is what we want! Our purpose is not to just make their deity and worship them, our purpose is that we want Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu and Sri Nityananda Prabhu to appear in our hearts! So are we getting that ?? Gaura Nitai gave everyone Krishna Prema ! Prabhuji then asked the devotees to raise their hands who among them has received Krishna Prema ! When no one raised their hand then Prabhuji pushed devotees to think why are we not receiving it ? Madhavananda Prabhuji quoted from the same bhajan to say that Nityananda Prabhu is my Lord. Why ? Because He is adosha-darshi, He doesn’t see any faults and that is exactly what I want because I am full of faults.

Prabhuji then added that our mind should be always focused on Krishna internally, while still remaining in our particular ashram externally, and quoted the below verse

antare niṣṭhā kara, bāhye loka-vyavahāra
acirāt kṛṣṇa tomāya karibe uddhāra (cc madhya 16.239)

Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu continued, “Within your heart you should keep yourself very faithful, but externally you may behave like an ordinary man. Thus Kṛṣṇa will soon be very pleased and deliver you from the clutches of māyā.

Prabhuji said that by following how Mahaprabhu is suggesting, by living our lives as per our whatever be our position in the society, while internally remaining oblivious to them, then we can really chant the name of Nityananda and Gaura!

Prabhuji then asked `So what is the symptom that we have received the mercy of Nityananda Prabhu ?’

nitä-ira karuëä çuni päñäëa miläya..häya re daruëa hiyä nä darabe täya..

That when a stone hears about how merciful  Nityananda Prabhu’s is, the stone melts. But

My heart, harder than a stone, it won’t melt ! I am so unfortunate. Why won’t it melt ?  What am I doing wrong ?

nitä-i caitanya aparädha nähi mane

One might say that I am doing some offenses, but you say that, Nitai and Gaura, They do not consider any offence, rather

yäre täre nija prema-bhakti kare däne

They give nija prema bhakti, They give Krishna Prema. So what I am doing wrong ?

Madhavananda Prabhuji then asked how do we worship Surya Deva ? By showing a burning Ghee wick. Similarly how we worship Ganga Devi, by offering her Ganga water.

So how should we worship adosha-darshi Nityananda ?

Prabhuji then stated strongly that this is what the author of this bhajan is  saying that I am not worshiping Nityananda Prabhu, because worshiping Nitai means that I do not find fault in others!!

Prabhuji quoted Srila Prabhupada who wrote in his purport to cc Adi8.62 `It is a qualification of a Vaishnava that he is adoṣa-darśī: he never sees others’ faults‘.

Prabhuji said that on this day we should think why Gaura Nitai have not entered our hearts yet ? Why is that this ecstasy of love of God is not touching me ? Because I am not really worshiping Them! I am doing something external. I am waving some incense, I am ringing the bell, I am offering some prayers. Prabhuji said this is fine, that is all very pious, but that is not why Gaura Nitai came. They came, like the sun and the moon, to dissipate the darkness of ignorance of this world. First of all we have to open our heart to Them. And we do that by giving up the propensity to criticise or fault find in other people.

Prabhuji said that if we are busy with finding faults in others then we are not worshiping Nityananda. Rather we are working for Chitragupta (assistant of Yamaraja, who keeps the account of everyone’s mistakes and sinful activities). To work in the court of Nityananda Prabhu means we must give up fault-finding and the propensity for bearing grudges.

Prabhuji said that in our lives we all have a choice, a decision to be made — which court do we want to work for? Do we want to assist Citragupta by being a pāpagaṇanām, a counter of everyone’s faults in the court of Yamaraja? Or do we want to give up finding others shortcomings and work in the court of Lord Nityananda?

The choice is ours.

Prabhuji spoke something very interesting on the Kripa Shakti of the Lord, which I will write later.

All glories to HG Madhavananda Prabhuji.

All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Most merciful Sri Vrindavan Dhama

by

Hare Krishna.

29th April, 2014, Gurgaon.

Krishna with cow

I felt a lot better just by writing my last blog, crying to the Lord.  I saw two clear answers for my agitated heart.

1. Beg for a service which is inconvenient for me at the local temple.

2. Beg to the Srila Prabhupada at his samadhi at Vrindavana to show me the way.

Next day, 29th, as I was getting ready to go to the office my morning meeting got cancelled and then the afternoon meeting too got postponed and suddenly I smelled a golden opportunity to go to Dhama for a day. I left for the Vrindavana at 11.30am.

It was all empty roads on a hot summer day. I realised this is the best time to listen to some nice lectures and as I was browsing though my list on phone I saw the recorded lectures of Govardhan Retreat by HG Bhurijan Prabhu and HH Sacinandan Maharaj. It was a coincident that I haven’t heard this series since many months ( I listen to them regularly). The recording started with initial introduction to Govardhan retreat by HG Bhurijana Prabhu. Prabhuji then explained various wonderful pastimes of Krishna at Govardhan and then HG Madhavananda Prabhu spoke for half an hour on more pastimes of Krishna and then it was time for lecture by HH  Sacinandan Maharaj. The next 1.25 hours were sheer bliss by listening to Maharaj. I am quoting a small portion of the lecture, which I noted on my mobile while listening. I have realised that I only absorb and remember those lectures which I hear repeatedly or those which I share with devotees or those for which I make notes. The highest being when I share it with devotees, in that case too I remember only 20-30% of what I like, unless I share it with more devotees.

Maharaj quoted  7th verse from Manah Sikshah, written by Sri Raghunath Das Goswami ( I am writing the verse for the benefit of readers, Maharaj didn’t recite the full translation of the verse)

My dear mind, the despicable desire for material honor and distinction is compared to a shameless dog-eating, low-born prostitute- yet she is flagrantly dancing in my heart. How, then, can the pristine love of pure devotion to Sri Krishna even find a place in my heart ? You will simple have to serve the unalloyed devotees of the Lord, who are his intimate associates and stalwart supporters. They alone can drive out this prostitute and enthrone pure love of Godhead within my heart.

Maharaj explained that when the desire for fame enters our heart and we allow her to stay there for a long time, then she, the fame, doesn’t want to stay alone, she invites her so called husband called Envy ! She invites envy to come as she wants a union. The desire for fame always invites envy of others who are more famous than us, better than us in so many other ways. And then this couple produce two children

1. aggressiveness towards others

2. criticism of others.

Maharaj added that if we let the desire for fame enter our heart then all the Vaiahanava qualities leave us. Good night sunshine !! So this desire for fame needs to be thrown out and we need to remain very conscious of it rather remain vigilant for even a small such desire because even if it is unintentional, it will cause havoc. The desire of fame is described as a dog eating witch by Raghunath Goswami ! (I read earlier that Srila Raghunath Das Goswami is the prayojan acharya, the one who takes us to our ultimate goal.)

Maharaj further added another gem by stating that

it is not for the recognition of others that we should our bhakti, it is for the recognition of Krishna. This is what we want, not that we are recognised as something special and something good. We want that Krishna is recognised.

What wonderful lines and realisation for me. I never ever thought like this before. I aspire to become a good devotee and a good disciple but never thought for a single second that I am doing my bhakti for the recognition of Krishna, which means consciously or unconsciously I am doing my bhakti for my ownself, my own fame.

Maharaj explained that `pratishtha’ is like poison and if we swallow it then ufff ! it will destroy you from inside. Maharaj added that whenever fame comes to us, as we do some good service, and we generally say this is all due to the mercy of my Guru Maharaj. Maharaj said don’t say such words because we want to be known as a very good disciple, say it because we should feel (and say) that on my own I am not good for anything and whatever good is there it is because someone else gave it to me.

What is the solution ? One should serve those who are dear to the Lord. Only a pure devotee of the Lord can throw out this `witch’ of fame, and her associates, who are in our heart, and then bring the great king of love, Krishna,  on the throne of our heart.

I pray at the lotus feet of HH Sacinandan Maharaj and beg him to bless me that I always remember this one line and do my bhakti only for the recognition of Krishna.

(we can listen and download all the earlier Govardhan retreats lectures at http://www.vihe.org/audio_lectures.html, scroll down to HH Sacinandana Swami, HG Bhurijan Prabhu, HG Jagattarini Mataji, then click again and we will find links to all the earlier  recorded lectures from earlier retreats)

All glories to HH Sacinandan Maharaj.

After I took the left turn from the highway for Sri Radha Kund, and passed through villages, there were lush green fields on both sides.

Vrindavan

I reached Sri Radha Kund around 3 pm. We drove right till the Radha Kunda, as the market and the lanes were deserted. I got down from the car a local panda (local priest) arrived from no where, probably the car acted as a cue. The road outside was so hot that I could not walk a single step barefoot.

photo 2

I entered Sri Radha Kunda, paid my obeisances on the steps and then took bath in the shaded portion of the Kunda. The water was surprising not at all warm. I paid my respects, seek forgiveness for entering the holy water, being completely unqualified, I shared what all was agitating me and then I prayed with all my heart to show me a way. After the bath, the panda `cajoled’ me to offer arti and made me donate some rice and dal as today was `amvasaya’. I requested him that I needed the pictures of Sri Radha Kund and Govardhan and the panda helped me by taking me to a shop and I found just the right picture and size for my altar. I was so happy to see these pictures that I wanted to hug the panda. I was looking for them since last one year and could not get them anywhere. HG Vidurpriya Prabhuji had told me earlier that They will come when They want to and not when I want, so today They agreed.

Sri Radha Kund ki Jai !

I had earlier planned to visit only Sri Radha Kund and then go straight to Vrindavan but after listening to the retreat lectures, and now getting a beautiful picture of Giriraj, I felt inspired to pay my obeisances to Sri Govardhan. I told the driver to go to Govardhan, we drove till the main market and then took the left turn.

And there He was, an effulgent and majestically standing Govardhan.

image4

I filled my eyes with His beauty, paid dandavat pranam, thanked Him, and left for Vrindavan with Vraja dhooli on my forehead.

I had a quick lunch in the car, which my wife had packed for the office. By the time I reached the temple it was almost 4.25 pm. I bought a pair of rose garlands for Sri Krishna Balram and entered the temple. Whenever I enter Sri Krishna Balram temple it is an indescribable feeling. It is like coming back to my real home, or as I have shared earlier, coming back to the home of my grandfather. I know someone is waiting who loves me, without judging me, or I may add,  someone who loves me despite knowing who really I am.

As I entered inside, a soft melodious kirtan was going by the 24 hour kirtan party. I first paid my obeisances to Srila Prabhupada, thanked him profusely for inspiring me to come here and begged him to engage me in his transcendental movement. And after paying dandavat at the closed altar I went and met HG Ganshyam Prabahu, who was part of the Kirtan party. He is a very simple and sincere devotee who serves HH Janananda Maharaj. I gave him the parcel which HG Shyam Sundar Prabhu had sent for him. Suddenly the conchshell blew and it was time for Their Lordship to see us.

The beauty of Deities at Vrindavan is beyond words, They always look so fresh, so beautiful, so stunning, so captivating, so charming, words fail to describe Them.

29thapril2014_429thapril2014_1

After paying my obeisances and thanking Them for letting me come there, I stood there admiring Their beauty, alternating between all the three altars, each one more munificent, more sublime and simply divine.

The kirtan was now going on with more vigor. A hall which was empty 5 minutes back was full of dancing devotees.

photo 411

As I came into the temple courtyard I saw devotees doing the service for rubbing chandan for the chandan Yatra. HG Ganshyam prabhu came out and graciously got me some mahaprasadam. He saw me looking at the devotees who were doing the service of rubbing chandan and he asked if I would like to do it ? My heart jumped and I said Yes please ! He went to the Prabhuji who was in charge of the service and requested him to allow me to do the service for sometime. Prabhuji asked my credentials and whether I am following all the 4 regulative principles strictly and chanting my rounds, and after my affirmative answer Prabhuji allowed me to take up the service. I was so delighted as I could get a direct service for the Lord. I didn’t sit idle for a single minute today, what a good fortune, all mercy of Mahaprabhu, Srila Prabhupada and the devotees.

photo 301

Later, I went to Srila Prabhupda’s samadhi and thanked him again for inspiring me to come to Sri Vrindavan dham and sought his causeless mercy to engage me in his movement and begged for intelligence to serve his servants and their servants with all my heart and without any prejudice. I wanted to cry at his feet but no tears came out of my dry stone like heart.

SP-samadhi-

I left the temple around 5.50pm to meet HG Damodar Prabhu, a very knowledgeable and yet a very humble devotee. I reached his home at 6pm and spent 30 wonderful minutes with him. After initial greetings I asked Prabhuji how can I read Caitanaya Caritramrita better and learn to recite the Bengali verses. Prabhuji instructed me that I should not just the read the translation, which is what I do, but also read the verses, even if I can’t pronounce them properly. Prabhuji said that there is no difference between Sri Caitanaya Caritramrita and Sri Caitanya Mahāprabhu and whenever I read Caitanaya Caritramrita I must first pray to Mahaprabhu and if Mahraprabhu is pleased then reading and reciting Bengali verses would suddenly become a cakewalk. Jai!

When Prabhuji had last come to Gurgaon, he had sung `Hari Haraye Namah Krsna Yadavaya Namah’ and `Bhaja re bhaj re amar mana ati manda’ bhajans. These two bhajans remain firmly imbibed in my heart for the melodious and absorbing way Prabhuji sang them. He had literally taken me to the transcendental world while singing them. So my second  question was how can I learn to sing Vaishnava Bhajans as I have developed a longing to learn them but I do not have any musical sense or voice. Prabhuji smiled and replied that to sing Vaishanava bhajans we do not need to be an expert in tunes or require any special singing skills as they need to come out from our heart. When I said that in my case the heart also does not have any feeling or purity, Prabhuji told me to pray to the goswamis and practice them everyday and I should get them. He also told me that I can listen to bhanjans by Sri Akinchan Krishnadas Babaji Maharaj, Srila Prabhupada’s godbrother, who used to chant almost 24 hours a day and hear how by simply playing a basic kartal tune and with a not so melodious voice he still takes the listener to another realm by his simple bhajans.  I promised myself that I am going to learn few bhajans, which I can sing alone in my coarse voice and see if I can glorify the Lord. I left his association around 6.30pm for back to Gurgaon.

This short trip proved to be one of my best trips as by the mercy of the Lord I could absorb most of the time remembering Krishna,  listening about Krishna, got darshan of Sri Radha Kunda, Sri Govardhan, Deities at Krishna Balram temple, goy to do the chandan service for the Lord and then got devotee association with HG Ganshyam Prabhu and HG Damodar Prabhu. I spoke to HG Shyam Sundar Prabhuji for sometime and then chanted almost all the way back to home. My agitated heart was calm, filled with love and an increasing inspiration to do something more in the service of Krishna, Srila Prabhupada and Guru.

All glories to Sri Vrindavan Dhama.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

All glories to Sri Guru and Gaurnaga.