Nityananda Prabhu’s lotus feet

Hare Krishna

5th April, 2015. Gurgaon

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Since many months I was looking for a picture of Mahaprabhu and Nityananda Prabhu’s lotus feet first for my study wall and later for my altar. I checked at the main shops near the temple, when I visited Vrindavan, but could not get them. As time passed by my search narrowed down to look for only Nityananda Prabhu’s lotus feet. I had seen one in a metal foil two years back at a devotee’s home but no one could help me where to get them. I spoke to a couple of devotees about my desire to worship Nityananda Prabhu’s lotus feet and help me get them.

Jaya Nityananda Prabhu

Nothing happened for weeks and then on 28th March this year I received a call from my dear friend Shyamsundar Prabhu around 9pm. Prabhuji told me that he is calling from Vrindavan and asked me if I was still looking for Nityananda Prabhu’s feet, I  hungrily replied in affirmative, hoping he has finally found some source. Only, it was better.

Prabhuji was currently at the gift shop next to the bakery on the main entry side of Krishna Balram temple. There he heard a Brajwasi trying to sell something he found on the road to the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper was unwilling to buy it as it was old. The Brajawasi was keen to get some money for it and the shopkeeper was saying that the best he can do is that he can leave it at the shop and check with him every week if it has been sold or not. Prabhuji then heard shopkeeper say that it is Nityananda Prabhu’s feet. Shyamsundar Prabhu immediately intervened in their animated discussion and asked to look at it and then saw that they were indeed Nityananda prabhu’s feet! Prabhuji remembered my desire and was calling me to find out if I would accept them as they were old and a bit scratched too. My heart jumped and I said Yes immediately. Prabhuji gave money to the Brajawasi and took their possession.

Prabhuji returned next day evening from Vrindavan and dropped at my home to deliver them. As I opened their wrapping, my heart skipped a beat seeing their beauty and all the clear markings on the feet. I was over the moon, they were perfect for my altar. I thanked prabhuji profusely for this mercy, coming out of blue from Vrindavan dham and via a brajavasi! What could be more joyous.

The amazing part is that Prabhuji shared that he too received Mahaprabhu’s lotus feet in a similar fashion. Some years back he was walking inside the Mayapur temple complex and he spotted something shinning on the ground, he picked it up and found that it was Mahaprabhu’s lotus feet. Still more amazing was when I narrated this incident to Amitabh Prabhu next day he shared that he too received  Nityananda Prabhu’s lotus feet in a similar manner at Vrindavan. There is simply no stopping of  Their mercy ! All glories to Nityananda Prabhu!

Below is the picture of Nityananda Prabhu’s lotus feet resting comfortably in our altar.

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I am copying the famous prayer Nitai Pada Kamala, by Srila Narottama Dasa Thakura, for the pleasure of the devotees and as a gratitude of Nityananda Prabhu’s mercy on this most fallen soul. I am simply overwhelmed. 

nitāi-pada-kamala, koṭi-candra-suśītala
je chāyāy jagata jurāy
heno nitāi bine bhāi, rādhā-kṛṣṇa pāite nāi
dṛḍha kori’ dharo nitāir pāy

The lotus feet of Lord Nityananda are a shelter where one will get the soothing moonlight not only of one, but of millions of moons. If the world wants to have real peace, it should take shelter of Lord Nityananda. Unless one takes shelter under the shade of the lotus feet of Lord Nityananda, it will be very difficult for him to approach Radha-Krsna. If one actually wants to enter into the dancing party of Radha-Krsna, he must firmly catch hold of the lotus feet of Lord Nityananda.

se sambandha nāhi jā’r, bṛthā janma gelo tā’r
sei paśu boro durācār
nitāi nā bolilo mukhe, majilo saḿsāra-sukhe
vidyā-kule ki koribe tār

Anyone who has not established his relationship with Nityananda Prabhu is understood to have spoiled his valuable human birth. Such a human being is actually an uncontrollable animal. Because he never uttered the holy name of Nityananda, he has become merged into so-called material happiness. What can his useless education and family tradition do to help him?

ahańkāre matta hoiyā, nitāi-pada pāsariyā
asatyere satya kori māni
nitāiyer koruṇā habe, braje rādhā-kṛṣṇa pābe
dharo nitāi-caraṇa du’khāni

Being maddened after false prestige and identification with the body, one is thinking, oh, what is Nityananda? What can He do for me? I don’t care. The result is that he is accepting something false to be truth. If you actually want to approach the association of Radha-Krsna, you must first achieve the mercy of Lord Nityananda. When He is merciful toward you, then you will be able to approach Radha-Krsna. Therefore you should firmly grasp the lotus feet of Lord Nityananda.
nitāiyer caraṇa satya, tāhāra sevaka nitya
nitāi-pada sadā koro āśa
narottama boro dukhī, nitāi more koro sukhī
rākho rāńgā-caraṇera pāśa

The lotus feet of Nityananda are not illusion; they are a fact. One who engages in the transcendental loving service of Nityananda is also transcendental. Always try to catch the lotus feet of Lord Nityananda. This Narottama dasa is very unhappy, therefore I am praying to Lord Nityananda to make me happy. My dear Lord, please keep me close to Your lotus feet. 

All glories to the lotus feet of Nityananda Prabhu.

All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Narasimha Chaturdashi 

Hare Krishna.

3th May, 2015. Gurgaon

 

Today is Narasimha Chatudashi in India. This festival, which comes in the month of May is a very special day for all the devotees.Lord Narasimha Deva appears to protect His devotees. Hiranyakashipu, a demon controlling the three worlds, was extremely proud and he hated Lord Vishnu.

But little Prahlada, his five year old son, was a great devotee of Lord Vishnu. therefore, Hiranyakashipu tried to killed prahlada in several ways; but failed in all his attempts because of the protection given by the Lord to His dear devotee. Finally, when Hiranyakashipu asked his little son where the Lord resides, Prahlada replied that the Lord resides everywhere. Mocking this response, Hiranyakashipu broke a pillar in his palace, and the Lord appeared from that pillar in His   half man-half lion incarnation – Narasimha. He then killed the demon and thus protected His devotee.

Lord Narasimha Deva removes the obstacles in the path of devotional service. Devotees who pray to Him are always protected from all kinds of calamities. Apart from celebrations at the local temple devotees celebrate Narasimha Chaturdashi by reading and discussing the pastimes of the Lord from Srimad Bhagavatam.

Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura has written five beautiful prayers for receiving the mercy of Lord Narasimha, which we can all read and pray to Narasimha Deva in a similar mood.

Prayers to Lord Narasimha by Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura

e dusta hrdaye kama adi ripu chaya
kutinati pratisthasa sathya sada raya
hrdaya-sodhana ara krsnera vasana
nrsimha-carane mora ei to’ kamana

Within my sinful heart the six enemies headed by lust perpetually reside, as well as duplicity, the desire for fame, plus sheer cunning. At the lotus feet of Lord Narasimha, I hope that He will mercifully purify my heart and give me the desire to serve Lord Krsna.

kandiya nrsimha-pade magibo kakhana
nirapade navadvipe jugala-bhajana
bhaya bhaya paya yan’ra darsane se hari
prasanna hoibo kabe more daya kari

Weeping, I will beg at the lotus-feet of Lord Narasimha for the benediction of worshipping Radha and Krsna in Navadvipa, perfectly safe and free from all  difficulties. When will this Lord Hari, Whose terrible form strikes fear into fear itself, ever become pleased and show me His mercy?

yadyapi bhisana murti dusta-jiva-prati
prahladadi krsna-bhakta-jane bhadra ati
kabe va prasanna ho’ye sa krpa-vacane
nirbhaya karibe ei mudha akincane

Even though Lord Narasimha is terrifying toward the sinful souls, He offers great auspiciousness unto the devotees of Lord Krsna headed by Prahlada Maharaja. When will He be pleased to speak words of compassion unto me, a worthless fool, and thereby make me fearless?

svacchande baiso he vatsa sri-gauranga-dhame
jugala-bhajana hau rati hau name
mama bhakta-krpa-bale vighna jabe dura
suddha cite bhajo radha-krsna-rasa-pura

He will say, “Dear child! Sit sown freely and live happily here in Sri Gauranga-dhama. May you nicely worship the Divine Couple, and may you develop loving attachment for Their Holy Names. By the mercy of My devotees, all obstacles are cast far away. With a purified heart, just perform the worship of Radha and Krsna, for such worship overflows with sweet nectar.”

ei boli’ kabe mora mastaka-upara
sviya sri-carana harse dharibe isvara
amani jugala-preme sattvika vikare
dharaya lutibo ami sri-nrsimha-dvare

Saying this, will that Lord delightedly place His own divine lotus-feet upon my head? I will experience sublime love for the Divine Couple Radha-Krsna and undergo the ecstatic transformations called sattvika. Falling on the ground, I will roll about at the door of Sri Narasimha’s temple.

(Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura, – Sri Navadvipa Bhava Taranga, 36-40)

I prayed in the morning to Lord Narasimha Deva to protect all of us from within,  from all the pains and anarthas of the heart, and  without, and may His loving hand be always on our head.

All glories to Narasimha Chaturdashi.

All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Krishna gives us practical application

Hare Krishna.

23rd March, 2015. Gurgaon

Quotes-by-Srimad-Bhagavatam-on-Becoming-Free-From-All-Sorts-of-Fear

Q: Why a seemingly simple process of just hearing the glories of Lord Krishna is considered so high ? ? 

Ans:  Because Lord Narayana Himself declares the same to the four Kumaras in SB 3.16.6 that

Anyone in the entire world, even down to the caṇḍāla, who lives by cooking and eating the flesh of the dog, is immediately purified if he takes bath in hearing through the ear the glorification of My name, fame, etc. Now you have realized Me without doubt; therefore I will not hesitate to lop off My own arm if its conduct is found hostile to you.

In his purport Srila Prabhupada writes that `Real purification can take place in human society if its members take to Kṛṣṇa consciousness. This is clearly stated in all Vedic literature. Anyone who takes to Kṛṣṇa consciousness in all sincerity, even if he is not very advanced in good behavior, is purified. A devotee can be recruited from any section of human society, although it is not expected that everyone in all segments of society is well behaved. As stated in this verse and in many places in Bhagavad-gītā, even if one is not born in a brāhmaṇa family, or even if he is born in a family of caṇḍālas, if he simply takes to Krishna consciousness he is immediately purified.

In Bhagavad-gītā, Ninth Chapter, verses 30-32, it is clearly stated that even though a man is not well behaved, if he simply takes to Kṛṣṇa consciousness he is understood to be a saintly person. As long as a person is in this material world he has two different relationships in his dealings with others — one relationship pertains to the body, and the other pertains to the spirit. As far as bodily affairs or social activities are concerned, although a person is purified on the spiritual platform, it is sometimes seen that he acts in terms of his bodily relationships. If a devotee born in the family of a caṇḍāla (the lowest caste) is sometimes found engaged in his habitual activities, he is not to be considered a caṇḍāla.In other words, a Vaiṣṇava should not be evaluated in terms of his body.

The śāstra states that no one should think the Deity in the temple to be made of wood or stone, and no one should think that a person coming from a lower-caste family who has taken to Kṛṣṇa consciousness is still of the same low caste. These attitudes are forbidden because anyone who takes to Kṛṣṇa consciousness is understood to be fully purified. He is at least engaged in the process of purification, and if he sticks to the principle of Kṛṣṇa consciousness he will very soon be fully purified. The conclusion is that if one takes to Kṛṣṇa consciousness with all seriousness, he is to be understood as already purified, and Kṛṣṇa is ready to give him protection by all means. The Lord assures herein that He is ready to give protection to His devotee even if there is need to cut off part of His own body’.

 

Q: How to deal if any devotee uses harsh words to us  ? What are  Krishna’s instructions for us on this matter ?

Reply: This is a another wonderful verse in this chapter where Lord Narayana is speaking to the four Kumaras that even if a vaishanava speaks harsh words to us we should pacify them with a smiling face!

On the other hand, they captivate My heart who are gladdened in heart and who, their lotus faces enlightened by nectarean smiles, respect the brāhmaṇas, even though the brāhmaṇas utter harsh words. They look upon the brāhmaṇas as My own Self and pacify them by praising them in loving words, even as a son would appease an angry father or as I am pacifying you. (SB 3.16.11)

Srila Prabhupada expands it further in his purport with two examples. It has been observed in many instances in the Vedic scriptures that when the brāhmaṇas or Vaiṣṇavas curse someone in an angry mood, the person who is cursed does not take it upon himself to treat the brāhmaṇas or Vaiṣṇavas in the same way. There are many examples of this.

1. The sons of Kuvera, when cursed by the great sage Nārada, did not seek revenge in the same harsh way, but submitted.

2. Here also, when Jaya and Vijaya were cursed by the four Kumāras, they did not become harsh towards them; rather, they submitted.

That should be the way of treating brāhmaṇas and Vaiṣṇavas. One may sometimes be faced with a grievous situation created by a brāhmaṇa, but instead of meeting him with a similar mood, one should try to pacify him with a smiling face and mild treatment. Brāhmaṇas and Vaiṣṇavas should be accepted as earthly representatives of Nārāyaṇa…. the brāhmaṇa should especially be treated as the representative of Nārāyaṇa and should be worshiped like Him. It is specifically said that to pacify the brāhmaṇas, one’s face should be lotuslike. A lotuslike face is exhibited when one is adorned with love and affection. In this respect, the example of the father’s being angry at the son and the son’s trying to pacify the father with smiling and sweet words is very appropriate.

 

Q: Why does Krishna worships His own devotees and show submissive behaviour towards them ?

Reply : To show us by example what should we our behaviour towards vaishanavas. The four Kumaras in their reply to Lord Narayana thus spoke

O Lord, You are the protector of the highest of the twice-born. If You do not protect them by offering worship and mild words, then certainly the auspicious path of worship will be rejected by people in general, who act on the strength and authority of Your Lordship. (SB (3.26.23)

Srila Prabhupada writes in his purport on the above verse :

In Bhagavad-gītā it is stated by the Lord Himself that the acts and character of great authorities are followed by people in general. Leaders of ideal character are therefore needed in society. Kṛṣṇa, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, appeared in this material world just to show the example of perfect authority, and people have to follow His path. The Vedic injunction is that one cannot understand the Absolute Truth simply by mental speculation or logical argument. One has to follow the authorities. Mahājano yena gataḥ sa panthāḥ. Great authorities should be followed; otherwise, if we simply depend on the scriptures, we are sometimes misled by rascals, or else we cannot understand or follow the different spiritual injunctions. The best path is to follow the authorities.

One should worship the brāhmaṇas and Vaiṣṇavas by offering them all kinds of endowments and sweet words, and if one has no means to offer anything, he must at least use sweet words to pacify them. The Lord personally exhibited this behavior towards the Kumāras.

If this system is not introduced by the leaders, then human civilization will be lost. When there is no protection and special treatment for persons who are devotees of the Lord, who are highly intelligent in spiritual life, then the whole society is lost. The word naṅkṣyati indicates that such a civilization becomes spoiled and is annihilated… If the authorities or the leaders of society do not give special respect to the brāhmaṇas and Vaiṣṇavas and do not offer them not only sweet words but all facilities, then the path of progress will be lost to human civilization. The Lord personally wanted to teach this, and therefore He offered so much praise to the Kumāras.

Four Kumaras then glorify this particular submissive behavior of Supreme Lord in the next verse.

You are the proprietor of the three creations and the maintainer of the entire universe. Therefore Your potency is not reduced by Your submissive behavior. Rather, by submission You exhibit Your transcendental pastimes. (SB 3.16.24)

 

So my learning from this chapter ( SB 3.16 ) are that

  1. I should daily read Srimad Bhagavatam and hear the glories of Lord Krishna from senior devotees at every given opportunity.

  2. If any devotee speaks harsh words then I should try to remain calm and appease him as I would appease my own father.

  3. I should always try to be submissive towards all devotees and  the temple management, even if I may not agree or understand some decisions. I should try to follow these principles even if they do not come naturally to me for the simple reason that such behavior pleases Lord Krishna.

 

All glories to Srimad Bhagavatam.

All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Wish from a tree in Vrindavan

Hare Krishna.
16th March, 2015. Gurgaon

trees of Vrindavan

I had the good fortune to visit Sri Vrindavan Dhama the last Saturday. It was an impromptu visit, more to attend enlightening classes of Srimati Mataji than my attraction for Dhama.

As I paid obeisances to deities at home, I prayed to Srila Prabhupada in particular to please bless me with constant association of devotees on this trip. Let me share some beautiful realisations I had.

I shared in my previous blogs that I am hearing Brahma Samhita seminar by HH Tamal Krishna Goswami Maharaj. I can say this about the potency of the scripture and the pure devotees that just by hearing it I had such nice understandings and realisations. Few days back I heard the below famous verse from Brahma Samhita in the same seminar.

cintāmaṇi-prakara-sadmasu kalpa-vṛkṣa-lakṣāvṛteṣu surabhīr abhipālayantam
lakṣmī-sahasra-śata-sambhrama-sevyamānaṁ govindam ādi-puruṣaṁ tam ahaṁ bhajāmi (BS 5.29)

I worship Govinda, the primeval Lord, the first progenitor who is tending the cows, yielding all desire, in abodes built with spiritual gems, surrounded by millions of purpose trees, always served with great reverence and affection by hundreds of thousands of lakṣmīs or gopīs.

The purport says The purpose tree yields only the fruits of piety, wealth, fulfillment of desire and liberation; but the purpose trees in the abode of Kṛṣṇa bestow innumerable fruits in the shape of checkered divine love.

As HH Tamal Krishna Goswami maharaj expanded this verse one thing that somehow penetrated my steel framed heart was glorification of each tree in Dhama and how each tree is a wish fulfilling tree. I realised that I have never wished from any tree in Dhama. I resolved that next time whenever I will go to Dhama I will surely seek wish from a tree there.

I left for Vrindavan with Radheshyam Prabhuji and his family,a very senior and well respected devotee from Gurgaon. Actually another greed to go with Prabhuji is that in his presence my chanting is much much better. I practically chanted the whole way and we reached Vrindavan around 12.30pm. I rushed to grab darshan and then read the BG verse 6.35 and 6.36 which was the topic for our class. I sat at the reception of MVT and read those wonderful verses and their purport. The class was from 3-5 pm, the class was remarkable by the virtue of topic and the teacher. After the class I came back to the temple and attended the Kirtan and Gaur Arti. It was first time that I heard kirtan by HH B.A. Janaradhan Maharaj and maharaj sang beautifully. I met maharaj next day and share d how much I relished it.

14th Mar_2015

I checked into a ashram near the temple, took early dinner prasadam, had a bath, read a little and was fast asleep by 10pm.

I woke up in time next day and managed to pull myself out of the bed and get ready in time to reach before the start of morning arti at Srila Prabhupada’s samadhi.

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It is always a very purifying and humbling experience to sing Samsara davanala lidha loka… at Prabhupada samadhi early in the morning.

After the Arti it was time for Mangal Arti in the main Altar. Devotees were singing mahamantra and as clock came nearer to 4.30 am, the pitch of singing increased and almost at a crescendo darshan opened. What beautiful darshan!

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I can say this full conviction that I have never ever seen anyone looking so handsome in a bright red dhoti and turban as both Krishna Balram did. Their skin was lustrous, smile was deep and beauty simply unparalleled. I am very sorry that I could not capture the picture well as I was standing quite back and later forgot as I was bust drinking Their sheer beauty. I also checked with temple and other devotees, somehow they didn’t click any pictures at mangal arti on this Sunday. I really wish I could somehow share Their beauty with you. (All other high resolution pictures are from temple’s website for that day)

After a soul satisfying, and all senses satisfying, mangal arti, I went to Srila Prabhupada quarters to do japa. This is my favourite place to do japa as being in the presence of Srila Prabhupada and so many senior vaishnavas some part rubs off on my chanting as well.

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I started of well but after the 4th or 5th round of chanting I started getting tired and then more embarrassment followed as I started yawning…. regularly. I told myself because I had a hectic day yesterday and got up early today so it is better that I go back to my room and catch up with sleep, say for 30 minutes, then I will be fresh for the rest of the day. Still some part of me wanted to chant, knowing very well that my rounds will get delayed and their quality won’t be as good. My yawns increased further… I really felt sad. I felt guilty that Prabhupada is throwing me out of his room as I was yawning so regularly and he didn’t want others to get disturbed. I forced myself to sit but could not and feared that I may even fall asleep sitting like this. I got up with a heavy heart, paid my dandavat to Srila Prabhupada and said sorry for my behaviour. As I stepped out of Prabhupada’s quarter, I was hit by a chilled wind. It was if I was in hills. It had drizzled lightly, the sky was overcast and a lovely cool breeze was blowing. In less than a minute I was fresh as a daisy! I thanked Prabhupada, I was thinking Prabhupada was kicking me out whereas he was pushing me to go outside, get some fresh air and chant properly. I again thanked Prabhupada and chanted for next one hour in the corridor, pacing up and down. I was absolutely fresh when shringar darshan opened at 7.15am.

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I was very fortunate to meet HH Janananda Maharaj while he was entering the main compound. Maharaj confirmed that he will be coming to Gurgaon this week, Hari Bol !

I attended the Guru Puja and then it was time for the Srimad Bhagavatam class. As I was about to sit I was very surprised to see Murari prabhu, along with his wife, from Jaipur. They had come a day before for Govardhan Parikarma, more association! I will write about the class in a separate blog as it was another revelation.

I was back in temple at 12.45 to say my good bye to most beautiful and reciprocative deities!

I bought some prasad for home and while exiting somehow remembered my resolve to seek some wish from a tree in Vrindavan. I was walking down the corridor, from Prabhupada Samdhi towards the guest house side exit gate, and I saw the familiar tree standing in front. I stopped and thought why not ask for a wish from a tree inside the temple compound, why go outside ? As I walked then another thought came to my mind. why don’t I go and seek the wish from the Tamal tree inside the temple compound as it is always taking darshan of the deities. I countered that this tree seems more merciful as he is serving devotees by standing outside. Mind made up, I walked towards this tree, paid my obeisances mentally (it was raining) and then I touched my forehead with it’s stem and begged for my wishes. While doing it I realised that Srimatai Mataji had instructed me just few minutes back that we should live in present and see what can I do now rather make plans for the future, following the same thought process I sought a personal favour, a near impossible wish, still I prayed for it as I had no other option in hand and it was something immediate help me in my spiritual life. I felt good just touching the tree.

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It had started raining hard as I ran from temple to ashram, forgetting about my wishes almost instantly. I shared a cab with Amitabh Prabhuji on my return journey so I was fortunate to receive association of senior devotees throughout this trip.

Today morning as I was getting ready to leave for the office. I received a message, to my utter surprise what I had wished yesterday came true, delayed by a week but very much true! It is quite personal else I had would shared it. I simply could not believe my ears. I was so very happy and in my high spirits I even forgot to say thank you to deities but paid mental obeisances to my wish fulfilling tree while driving to work. I can say this much with confidence that as of early morning today the chances of my wish becoming true were as remote as a snowfall in Delhi and too in the month of June!!

As I look back and I can only appreciate the mercy of dhama. I also realise that I had been reading and hearing for last so many years that all trees in Dhama are wish fulfilling trees but not even a thought ever crossed my mind to seek something from them. Why ? What else then my lack of faith in scriptures and words of acharayas.

I realised during this trip that my spiritual bullock cart is aided by two wonderful, but unseen, wings. One of them is prayer and the second one is my faith in the words of acharayas and scriptures. On this trip I experienced the power of both.

I realised that whenever we try to build a relationship with Srila Prabhupada, based solely on our sincerity, then howsoever unqualified we may be, Prabhupada inspires us, guides us, in every possible way which is conducive for our devotional progress.

I love Srila Prabhupada.

All glories to Sri Vrindavan Dhama.
All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Crying for Krishna

Hare Krishna.
8th March, 2015. Gurgaon

I miss Krishna!

Since last many days I am trying to analyse why I feel hollow from inside as if some part of me as has gone missing. And I have developed a strange longing for Krishna and hearing about Krishna, I try my best to suppress it and hide it but it won’t go. I shared with Shyamsundar Prabhu some days back that I feel that a strange churning is happening inside my heart but the churning feels like churning of a very viscous fluid (like a very thick honey) which is difficult to churn. So it seems that the process is on but the motor of this mixer (my spiritual attachment) is no match for the thick fluid ( my material attachments mixed with offenses) it is trying to churn!

Last year I asked Guru Maharaj “How to develop the feeling of separation from Krishna as I feel Krishna is so close to me as super soul”. Guru Maharaj’s replied surprised to say the least ‘because there is no love and love can’t be artificially produced’. (today I feel ashamed to have asked such a question). At that time I wondered that instead of patting me on my back that somehow I feel “closer” to Krishna and Guru Maharaj has replied that I have no love for Krishna! Isn’t it love which has produced my so called closeness? I kept quite as I know my state is mostly sentimental and Guru Maharaj would have seen through this thin layer.

I haven’t developed love for Krishna but somehow a seed has sprouted in my dry and barren heart which is strange because usually in a dry place only a cactus grows. So I wonder what is this little green sprout doing in my heart, may be it is a weed only. But this weed is giving me all sort of troubles. And in last few months a small flower has grown on this weed, this flower is regret, my regret of ignoring Krishna for so many lifetimes and this flower smells of longingness and anxiety for Krishna. Both the flower and its smell are troubling my heart everyday.

What is my response ?

I am trying to give all sorts of lame excuses to my own self. Oh ! I will do this once my responsibilities are over, one day I am going to serve temple full time, one day I will preach and so on and on, all plans for future nothing at present. I want to serve Krishna but at my own convenience and milestones! Sometimes I think that I am more eager to serve my office and my family than Krishna.

And giving wind to the fire of all my material desires is the praise I hear from few devotees, outside I may say “it is Guru Maharaj’s causeless mercy” but some portion of my heart relishes it and rejoices in it thinking “it’s me, I must be doing something right”. I have learnt the art of how mask my feelings with an outward show of humility.

What is the proof?

The proof is my indifference towards Holy Name, my indifference towards serving vaishnavas.

This helpless condition where my heart wants to hear only Krishna and what I am forced to do overwhelms me more often than not. Sometimes, completely overwhelmed, I feel like raising my arms up in the air and cry for Krishna, cry so loud that my throat muscles bust. Alas! I am unable to do it. Many a times I feel like crying out aloud in front of deities at home while doing evening kirtana but no tears come out.

The only time I get close it is when I am among devotees and in a kirtana. It’s a new love and feeling which has developed inside me despite my lack of interest in Kirtana earlier.

Right now I am coming back after attending the temple Marjanam at our centre, I felt so close to Lord Jagnnath. Somewhere inside me I know that He was pleased but the ‘connections’ faded away minutes after the service is over.

What’s the solution ?

It’s obvious isn’t it ? Attend more Kirtan in the association of senior devotees and do more service at the center. As luck would have it my dear friend Shyamsundar Prabhuji called up today afternoon and told me about a service which the local centre needs! Such is the mercy of Lord and His devotes that they are more eager for me to come closer to Krishna then I wish.

I am copying this wonderful song called Kabe Ha’be Bolo by Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura and pray at feet of all the Vaishnavas that one day I too develop at this longing for the Holy Name, for Nityananda Prabhu’s lotus feet, for Navadvipa Dhama and for preaching.

kabe ha’be bolo se-dina āmār
(āmār) aparādha ghuci’, śuddha nāme ruci,
kṛpā-bale ha’be hṛdoye sañcār

(When, O when, will that day be mine? When will you give me your blessings, erase all my offences and give my heart a taste [ruci] for chanting the Holy Name in purity?)

tṛṇādhika hīna, kabe nije māni’,
sahiṣṇutā-guṇa hṛdoyete āni’
sakale mānada, āpani amānī,
ho’ye āswādibo nāma-rasa-sār

(When will I taste the essence of the Holy Name, feeling myself to be lower than the grass, my heart filled with tolerance? When will I give respect to all others and be free from desire for respect from them?)

dhana jana āra, kobitā-sundarī,
bolibo nā cāhi deho-sukha-karī
janme-janme dāo, ohe gaurahari!
ahaitukī bhakti caraṇe tomār

(When will I cry out that I have no longer any desire for wealth and followers, poetry and beautiful women, all of which are meant just for bodily pleasure? O Gaura Hari! Give me causeless devotional service [bhakti] to your lotus feet, birth after birth.)

(kabe) korite śrī-kṛṣṇa-nāma uccāraṇa,
pulakita deho gadgada bacana
baibarṇya-bepathu ha’be saṅghaṭana,
nirantara netre ba’be aśru-dhār

(When will my body be covered with goose bumps and my voice broken with emotion as I pronounce Krishna’s name? When will my body change colour and my eyes flow with endless tears as I chant?)

kabe navadwīpe, suradhunī-taṭe,
gaura-nityānanda boli’ niṣkapaṭe
nāciyā gāiyā, berāibo chuṭe,
bātulera prāya chāriyā bicār

(When will I give up all thought of the world and society to run like a madman along the banks of the Ganges in Navadvipa, singing and dancing and sincerely calling out the names of Gaura and Nityananda?)

kabe nityānanda, more kori ‘doyā,
chārāibe mora viṣayera māyā
diyā more nija-caraṇera chāyā,
nāmera hāṭete dibe adhikār

(When will Nityananda Prabhu be merciful to me and deliver me from the enchantment [maya] of the sense objects? When will he give me the shade of his lotus feet and the right to enter the market place [nama-hatta] of the Holy Name?)

kinibo, luṭibo, hari-nāma-rasa,
nāma-rase māti’ hoibo bibaśa
rasera rasika-caraṇa paraśa,
koriyā mojibo rase anibār

(When will I buy, borrow or steal the ecstasies of the Holy Name? When will I lose myself in the intoxication of the Holy Name? When will I immerse myself in the nectar of the Holy Name after grasping the feet of a saint who constantly relishes the `rasa’ of devotion?)

kabe jībe doyā, hoibe udoya,
nija-sukha bhuli’ sudīna-hṛdoya
bhakativinoda, koriyā binoya,
śrī-ājñā-ṭahala koribe pracār

(When will I feel compassion for all living beings ? When will I forget my own pleasure in genuine humility? And when will I, Bhaktivinode, meekly go from door to door, preaching your message of love?)

I beg at the lotus feet of all devotees to kindly pray for me that I too develop a similar mood of prayer and develop a taste for the Holy Name and a taste to serve Mahaprabhu’s mission and His devotees unconditionally.

All glories to the Holy Name.
All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Demons in Krishna’s pastimes

Hare Krishna.
8th January, 2015, Gurgaon.

1krishna-killing-demons

I got up early today but felt too cold and lazy to get up from the bed, freshen up and start Chanting. I picked up my phone and looked for something to read for a while. Fortunately, I found a very sweet seminar given by HH Bhakti Charu Swami Maharaj on the demons in Krishna’s pastimes and various anarthas' they represent. I had onlypart II’ of the seminar hence please pardon me if I miss out some details.

Maharaj explained that all these demons and the anarthas they represent are described in `Krishna Samhita’, a very interesting book by Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura.

I am now briefly mentioning all the demons and what they represent in a concise way below. I have taken some information from a VIHE book called `demons in Vrindavana Lila’ and some pastimes I am writing in a little more detailed manner as maharaj described them.

BCS: The word Nanda is coming from ananda. What is ananda? Joy. So Nanda Mahārāja is joy personified. Joy personified tends Krishna.

Yaśodā. Yaś means? Fame, And dā means? Giver. Yaśodā, mother Yaśodā is the giver of fame.

So different personalities have been identified in this way.

What is Kaṁsa’s business? His whole purpose is to kill Kṛṣṇa. Now who wants to kill God? Atheism. Atheism wants to kill God. Kaṁsa is actually atheism personified.


1. Putana (the witch) – the pseudo guru.

We all know how Putana came into the village where the baby Lord Krishna lived and assumed a beautiful form and then tried to kill Him by offering her breast milk to Him after she had put poison on her breast. But Krishna sucked the life air out of her and killed her. Nonetheless, Krishna had accepted her like a mother and she attained liberation.

Putana represents the pseudo-guru. The pseudo-guru may appear in one or both of two forms:
A. A deceitful, so-called guru who preaches sense gratification or liberation or both.
B. The inwardly manifest “spiritual” guide, in the form of the mundane empiric reasoning faculty (the material mind).


2. Sakatasura (the cart demon) – carrying the burden of a cart-load of old and new bad habits, Not understanding the purpose of religious principles.
He also represents lethargy, dullness and false pride. Krishna removes this contamination by kicking it aside.

BCS: Śakata means a cart, a bullock cart. Those days they used to carry things not in tractors or trucks and such vehicles. The mode of transportation was carts drawn by bullocks. So there was a śakaṭā and they used to keep all things on that cart and then they used to harness it with a bull or bulls. So it was an occasion when Krishna was just turning to His side, which means about three months. At three months or so the baby learns to turn to his side. So that is the occasion to celebrate. They were celebrating this occasion and when Mother Yaśodā was making all the arrangements. She thought that she would keep Krishna under this cart. This kind of protected somehow. But a demon actually came and wanted to kill Krishna. The idea actually was that Pūtanā assumed a form and therefore Krishna could kill her. So this one decided not to take any form. But just go there and make the cart to collapse. And then he would put his pressure and strength on Krishna to kill Him. Krishna knew what was going on. So Krishna was lying there and what He did, He just touched the cart with His baby foot, maybe just with the toe. And the cart immediately collapsed. And all these heavy articles were there and they just got scattered. An anxious mother Yashoda rushed out and found that although the cart collapsed, all the articles were scattered and fell but the baby Krishna was not harmed.

3. Trinavarta (the whirlwind demon) – false pride which coming from dry or material logic, which leads to bogus philosophies.

Trnavarta represents the false pride produced by useless scholarship, which gives rise to wrangling debates and arguments, dry reasoning and dry logical indulgences in the association of people who are attached to such things. It produces controversy which is disloyal to the path of pure bhakti, such as Mayavada and Buddhism. It is the breeding place of demoniac, sinful philosophies.

Lord Krsna becomes moved by the humility of His devotees, who carefully avoid this fault, and He strangles the demon and removes the thorn from His devotees’ endeavours in devotional service.

This demon took the shape of a vast whirlwind and lifted Lord Krishna way up into the sky in order to try to kill Him. But Lord Krishna became so heavy that He brought down the demon so hard that Trinavarta was killed.


4. Deliverance of Nalakuvara and Manigriva (breaking the twin arjuna trees) – Arrogant pride which comes from puffed-up prestige, which is rooted in a madness for wealth.

It gives rise to cruelty to animals, lust for women, and indulgence in alcohol. These further give rise to debauchery of the tongue — uncontrolled eating habits and loose talking. Then come general hard-heartedness, shamelessness and all sorts of disgraceful activities.
Krishna very mercifully breaks down the twin Arjuna trees while tied to the grinding mortar in order to destroy all these faults.

This pastime of Krishna very directly illustrates the predicament of people who are wealthy and aristocratic, but who become involved in licentiousness. It is interesting to note the remedy applied by Narada Muni — poverty, or in terms which are particularly relevant to ourselves as aspiring devotees, simple living and high thinking.

5. Vatsasura (the calf demon) – a childish type of mentality which gives rise to a type of greediness which results in a wicked type of mischievousness.
It gives rise to a type of greediness for sense gratification through which one becomes absorbed in materialism.

BCS: So Krishna is just about six years old, five, going on six. And at that time the children in the cowherd community were given the charge of the calves. Like apprentice, they were apprentices. They have to go out to take care of the cows, but as children they can take care of the children of the cows. So Krishna was given charge with Balarāma to take care of the calves and with the friends they used to go to the forest. So once they went to the forest and here came this demon, Vatsāsura, disguised as a calf. In the middle of so many calves, this calf was there, which was actually a demon and his intention was to kill Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma. So Krishna identified that demon. And He told Balarāma: “Balarāma, this character looks strange, you can’t trust him, he is not our regular calves. … So who is this character? Balarāma asked: “Will You take care of him? Or should I take care of him?” Krishna said: “Let Me take care of Him.” And then at one point this calf just came and charged towards Krishna, it tried to kill Him. And Krishna just grabbed the calf with his legs and started to swing him, swing him, swing him… This is Krishna’s favorite way of killing the demons, especially when they come in the form of some animal. And then He threw the calf onto the space, it was already dead and it fell in the forest of kapittha trees.

6. Bakasura (stork demon) – False religiosity. He represents cunning duplicity, deceptive behaviour and hypocrisy, the outward manifestations of a false lifestyle of cheating activities.

BCS: Bakāsura came in the form of a crane. The crane is a bird that looks like a swan. A crane looks somewhat like a swan but the characteristics are completely different. The swan lives in a very quiet, serene atmosphere. This bird also lives in a watery atmosphere. And what does it do? It stands at one place as if it is meditating. And that also with one leg drawn up. How many of you have seen a crane? So you have seen how this crane stands in the water on one leg. Like sometimes the yogīs stand on one leg meditating. But what does the crane meditate on? It meditates on fish. It is just watching, meditating on the fish. And the moment it sees a fish it just catches it. This demon came assuming a form of a crane, a huge crane. So they all were playing and they saw this beautiful, huge bird. They all out of curiosity came there. Bakāsura was just waiting, while they were all marveling at the sight of this huge bird, this bird just swallowed up Krishna. And the bird what did it do? It just expanded himself but Krishna expanded Himself the bird could not swallow Him. And Krishna became so hot that it could not keep Krishna in his mouth, it threw out Krishna from his mouth. And then Krishna just stood there but this bird again came to swallow Krishna. But this time what did Krishna do? Krishna with his foot pressed his lower jaw and with His hand Krishna pressed his upper jaw. And then Krishna just pulled and its body tore into two pieces. The demon was dead.

7. Aghasura (the snake demon) – Aghāsura is cruelty personified. Aghasura represents the mentality of cruelty to others, and violence and causing trouble to others out of envy. This attitude is an offense against the chanting of the holy names. It may also manifest in the form of an unwillingness to help other living beings by giving them Krishna consciousness.

The demon Aghasura was the younger brother of Putana and Bakasura. He assumed the form of a great python, expanded to the length of eight miles and grew as high as a mountain. He lay on the road with his mouth wide open, and Krishna’s friends playfully entered into the demon, being curious about the giant form and feeling confident in Krishna’s protection. Finally, Krishna also entered into the mouth of the demon in order to protect His friends, and then expanded His own body to such an extent that the demon suffocated and died, and then brought all of His friends back to life and out of the demon.

8. Brahma-vimohana Pastime (Lord Brahma steals the cowherd boys and calves) – mundane activities and speculative scholasticism.

The pastime of the bewilderment of Lord Brahma and his subsequent purification frees us from the cultivation of fruitive activities (karma) and speculative knowledge (jnana). It also rectifies the offense of disrespecting the Lord’s madhurya feature in favour of His aisvarya feature.

9. Dhenukasura (the ass demon) – Ignorance of knowledge of the soul through gross materialistic intelligence, or jackass-like foolishness.

BCS: This Dhenukāsura is a very beautiful pastime which happened after Krishna saved the cowherd boys from the devastating forest fire. Later, all the cowherd boys were feeling very, very hungry. They said: “Krishna we are feeling very, very hungry.” Then somebody says: “I am smelling some beautiful fragrance of ripe tāla fruit. How many of you have seen tāla fruits? Tāla fruits have a very sweet flavor. It’s a big purple fruit like this, it grows about this big and it has a very sweet flavor. But somebody said: “No,no don’t go there, that tāla forest is guarded by a demon called Dhenukāsura. And because of fear of him, nobody goes near. Because if you go there, then he will eat you up, Dhenukāsura. Balarāma said: “What? Who cares about this Dhenuka, the demon? Come let’s go. We are hungry!” Balarāma grabbed that tāla tree and started to shake it. And all the tāla fruits started to fall with a thud, big fruits falling with a sound. And Dhenukāsura woke up: “Who dares to come to my forest?” Who dares to enter into my territory? I will take care of them. And unconcerned about Dhenukāsura or whatever, Balarāma kept on shaking and the tāla fruits kept on falling one after another. And the boys, exited, started to pick them up and eat them. In the mean time Dhenukāsura came and he attacked Balarāma. How do the donkeys attack? Yes, their strength is in the hind legs. Do you know what the donkeys are famous for? First of all the donkeys are famous for their stupidity. Because the donkey needs just some grass and there is plenty of grass everywhere. But because he is a donkey he thinks that he has to work for his master and he carries this big burden everywhere, food to eat. And the donkeys are famous for carrying huge loads; they can carry huge loads, five, six times the weight of their body, the donkeys can carry. But in return … what does the donkey get? A little grass. But the donkey thinks that unless he carries this big load he won’t get any grass to eat.

Another thing, the donkey carries a big burden. And what is that burden? This burden is unnecessary materialistic karma, materialistic activities. We can so easily get rid of our karmic reactions, just by surrendering to Kṛṣṇa. When you surrender to Kṛṣṇa, will you have any karma left? Ahaṁ tvāṁ sarva-pāpebhyo mokṣayiṣyāmi mā śucaḥ… Krishna is giving us our assurance but our donkey propensity does not allow us to do that.

Another thing about this donkey demon. What is he doing? He is protecting this tāla fruit, the fruits of his activities, which are actually meant to be offered to Kṛṣṇa. But instead we are saying nobody should come and take it. All our possessions, we are guarding, saying: “Don’t come, don’t try to take my propenstity.” Are these the propensities of a donkey demon, Dhenukāsura? And this demon is killed by Balarāma. Who is Balarāma? Balarāma is the original spiritual master. This demon is killed by the spiritual master. Our donkey propensities are destroyed by the bonafide spiritual master. He teaches us about the importance of surrendering to Kṛṣṇa and becoming free from the unnecessary burden of our karmic reactions. Balarāma, the original spiritual master teaches us that there is no need to unnecessary carry the big burden of our materialistic responsibilities. And there is no need to carry the fruits of our activities, our possessions for our own enjoyment, offer it to Kṛṣṇa. This is how Dhenukāsura or the donkey demon is killed by Balarāma.

10. Kaliya (chastising the Kaliya serpent) – brutal cruelty, maliciousness, pride, envy and a snake-like crookedness.
He particularly tries to pour his poison into the hearts of innocent Vaisnavas, which Krsna cannot tolerate, so then the Lord kills him.

11. Extinguishing the Forest Fire – The first forest fire represents hatred and arguments between Vaisnavas or different religions, and disrespecting each other’s Deities. It can also represent any type of clash or conflict.

12. Pralambasura (killing the Pralamba demon) – lust for the opposite sex, and the desire for profit, adoration and distinction.
BCS: This Pralambāsura came in the disguise of a cowherd boy. And they were playing that one set of boys will carry in the game, they will carry the other set of boys. So Pralambāsura chose to take Balarāma. He disguised himself as a cowherd boy and he sided with Krishna’s team. There were two teams, Krishna’s team and Balarāma’s team. And he decided to carry Balarāma and he thought that he will kidnap Balarāma and if Balarāma can be killed then Krishna will die due to His intense separation from Balarāma. So He decided to kill Balarāma. Because all the demons are being killed one after another by Krishna. So they thought: “Okay, let’s not try to deal with Krishna but indirectly we will get rid of Krishna by stealing Balarāma. So Pralambāsura carried Balarāma and as he got Balarāma on his back he just ran and then while he was running, he assumed his demoniac form. From a little cowherd boy he became a huge demon. At first Balarāma got a little worried: ” Hey, what’s happening?” So Krishna reminded him :”Hey, You are Balarāma, don’t forget Who You are!” So then Balarāma got back to His senses and Balarāma hit him on the head and Pralambāsura was dead.

This Pralambāsura is impersonalism. This is impersonalism also is killed by Balarāma, the original spiritual master.

13. Second Forest Fire – The second forest fire represents the attack of atheism and other antagonistic philosophies on Krishna consciousness.
Srila Sanatana Goswami says that some people say that the forest fire was a friend of Pralambasura’s.


14. Brahmanas Performing Sacrifice -This pastime illustrates the fault of indifference towards Krishna arising out of pride due to high birth in the varnasrama system.


15. Overcoming the Pride of Indra – demigod worship, and the tendency to think “I am Supreme.”
This pastime illustrates the mistake of thinking that it is good to perform demigod worship.

16. Nanda Maharaja Captured by Varuna – thinking that spiritual life can be enhanced by intoxication.

17. Nanda Maharaja Swallowed by Vidyadhara (the snake) – how Krishna saves the truth of devotional service from being swallowed by the Mayavadis and other atheists. It illustrates how devotees must avoid the company of such snake-like people.

18. Sankhacuda (killing the conch-shell demon and getting the jewel that was stolen by him) – proneness toward acquiring name and fame, and desire for sensuous enjoyment, under the plea of devotion.

19. Aristasura (the bull demon) – pride arising from indulging in false religions invented by cheaters which causes neglect of devotional service (bhakti). Due to their contaminated condition they show disrespect to the process of pure devotional service to Krishna.
This demon assumed the form of a huge bull with sharp horns in its attempt to kill Krishna and Balarama. When the bull approached the village, everyone was afraid. When the bull charged toward Lord Krishna, He grabbed him by the horns and threw him away. But the bull still wanted to attack. So Krishna threw him to the ground and thrashed him like a pile of wet clothing, which forced the demon to give up his life.

20. Kesi (the horse demon) – I am a great devotee and spiritual master, Kesi is pride personified.” Also the false ego arising from attachment from wealth and material accomplishments.

BCS : Then Kesi, as you know, went in the form of a huge horse, a gigantic horse. He was blowing out a fire from his mouth. From his mouth, from his nostrils the fire was coming out, such a terrible demon. And the cowherd boys were so much in anxiety, so upset.. But Krishna said:”Don’t worry, I will deal with him.” So Krishna just stood there, tying up his utariya, tying up his waist. When Kesi came. Kesi came to swallow Krishna up. This huge demon just wanted to swallow Krishna up. But what did Krishna do? Krishna stretched His left hand. And that hand went into Kesi’s mouth. But Krishna’s hand expanded to such a degree that Kesi’s throat got choked. And then this hand started to emanate fire, it became so hot. Kesi was dying. Kesi wanted to get the hand out of his mouth but he could not. Then Krishna grabbed him by his hind legs and started to swing him overhead. And as a result of that Kesi left his body.

21. Vyomasura (the demon in the sky) – associating with thieves and other rascals, and with people who put themselves forward as avataras, as well as cheating impostors who disguise themselves as devotees

Maharaj said we also have to deal with all these demons that are within our hearts and if we take shelter of Krishna then Krishna Himself will take of care of these anarthas within us !!

Bhaktivinoda Thakura says: “The devotee who worships the holy name should first petition the Lord for the strength to cast out all these unfavourable tendencies — and should pray thus before Lord Hari on a daily basis. By doing this regularly, the devotee’s heart will eventually become purified. Sri Krishna has killed a number of demons which may arise in the kingdom of the heart — so in order to destroy these problems, a devotee must cry very humbly before the Lord and admit defeat — then the Lord will nullify all contaminations.”

May we all take shelter of Lord Hari, daily cry for His help and tide over these obstacles in our bhakti soon.

All glories to the wonderful pastimes of Lord Krishna.
All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

How Dhama reciprocates with us !

Hare Krishna

24th October, 2014. Govardhan.

jaya jaya śrī-caitanya jaya nityānanda
jayādvaita-candra jaya gaura-bhakta-vṛnda

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21st October : I was itching since morning to make a program to do Govardhan parikarma on Govardhan Puja day on 24th October but somehow the program was not get getting materialised. We, the whole family, came from Vrindavan 3 days back and they were reluctant to go again as its 10th class of my daughter and Priti, my wife, didn’t want more off from her coaching classes. Then, I was also told to spend some time at with kids on this weekend and my parents too will come to spend Diwali with us and will be home on 24th as well.

22nd Oct : I got a call from Guru Maharaj to pick a devotee from International airport coming from Russia at 3.30am and then to drop her at the domestic terminal at 9 am. I dropped the idea of going to Govardhan now as it will be too late to go, the desire to go, however, remained simmering in my heart.

23rd October : Diwali Day. I was still in two minds whether to go and how to go. In the morning I received a call from HG Sri Krishna Hari Prabhuji, who informed that he is taking a small group of devotees from Gurgaon to Govardhan next day morning. My desire to go got inflamed again. I called up devotees who were going next day with Prabhuji but they didn’t have any vacant seat in their car. Priti told me that if I am so keep to go then I can pick the devotee from the airport early morning and then she can drop her later, while I can leave for parikarma. Not sure whether to take the option, I messaged Shyamsundar Prabhuji seeking his advice. He strongly advised me against passing on service to even my wife, back to the square one.

24th October : Govardhan-Puja. I picked the devotee, a very very simple and intelligent devotee from Russia, serving TOVP, from the airport at 3.30am and then dropped her back at the domestic terminal at 9 am for her journey to Sri Mayapur Dhama. Later, coming back home from the airport I decided to go, even alone, for Govardhna Parikarma. Still, I pushed my parents to come with me and told my father that it is one of holiest day to go for Govardhan Parikarma. I also told them that they can do the parikarma in a riksha and as a added bonus they will stay in MVT in the most comfortable environment. After some cajoling my father agreed but mom refused flatly. She put a condition that she will only go if my wife comes along. Priti refused, as Samira, my daughter, had extra classes. A bit angry, I taunted my mother that she only wants Priti to come so that she has someone to talk to and gossip and then walked out of the room, thinking only the father and son duo will go today, leaving the ladies at home. As I walked out I heard my dad telling mom that think of it as `Shravan kumar’ taking his parents to Dhama yatra and that she should come, she refused again. Hearing my dad’s words suddenly something ticked inside my heart. Am I really a shravan Kumar kumar ? No ! I was forcing me mom so that my dad will have company in the riksha while I do the parikarma, walking. I also know that if I would have got a lift I would not have bothered to ask my parents. But his hearing his words had some effect on my dry heart. I returned back to the room and softly pleaded and then pushed my mother to come, promising to take care of them. Strangely, she agreed this time. Hari Bol !

As I came back in my room and told Priti that both mom and dad have agreed to come with me. I also shared how after hearing dad’s words my heart softened and how I am now thinking that let me take them to Govardhan yatra and I will go with them in the riksha and will not leave them to be on their own. I will also try to speak about some pastimes of the Lord on the way and this may be their only hope for getting mercy of the Lord. Priti asked what about her parents. I replied that they won’t agree to come with us but she can do the parikarma and then give the credit to her parents. After thinking for a few long seconds she agreed to my proposal ! A miracle seem to be taking place in my home. She said let’s drop the kids at her sister’s home but I pushed her that let’s take the kids too, emphasising that though it will definitely be very crowded there but then who else, if not us, will teach our kids to learn to take a little bit of austerity for some higher cause. She replied if the kids will agree to come on their own then she is fine. Again to my surprise , both the kids jumped at the idea and were ready to go. We were out of the house in next one hour, all prepared for Govardhana Parikarma. I also downloaded some lectures in Hindi for my parents on my phone and took the portable bluetooth speaker in the car for added effect, just in case.

As we started the journey, my mom started the general chit chat in the car. My father, generally quite tolerant, surprisingly, scolded her that we are going for a yatra and we should not gossip and should rather think about some good thoughts. Thinking that this is the right time I loudly said what a good idea ! let all of us hear about Govardhan Lila from a very senior sanyasi, HH Radha Govind Maharaj, that too in Hindi and then overriding my mom’s meek protests I switched the audio on. Within five minutes we were listening to the nector. To be honest, my mother went to sleep in few minutes but rest of the family members listened attentively. It was indeed pure nectar to my ears as I heard Maharaj recite the lila as if it has happened in front of his eyes.

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We reached Govardhan after 4 pm. It was not as crowded as I had expected it to be. We met another family while parking our car and together we hired a big auto for the parikarma. We did the parikarma and within 15 minutes everyone was in the right mood. We also walked for some time when the soft ground near Govardhan came. I spoke a little as to why do we do the parikarma and what is the significance of this day. As we went back to our Auto I was thinking how nice it would have been to walk all the distance but because of my family I am forced to do the parikarma in an auto. I also realised that I should never look down on devotees who apparently are not going through a simple austerity, as they could be be helping someone else as part of their preaching. So whilst feeling sad at not being able to walk I made myself a promise never to look down upon anyone else though I don’t know how soon I may forget it. I continue my ride in the rear seat of the auto, chanting and looking at Giri Govardhan with gratitude in my heart and trying to fill my eyes with His beauty.

Suddenly I saw a familiar face, it was HH Mahanidhi Maharaj doing parikarma with few devotees, as his usual fast pace. I felt so blessed just being able to take his darshan. I almost jumped off the auto, told the auto driver to stop while I’d be back in few minutes. I ran back but could not find Maharaj any where though it was a straight road. Feeling sad but not willing to give up, I tried to think fresh and looked around. I then saw a small group of devotees going inside a narrow alley instead of staying on the main road. I ran inside that alley and after, what seemed a very long 1 minute of running. caught up with Maharaj. I paid by dandavat, maharaj looked at me with surprise as I introduce myself. Maharaj commented nice name after hearing my initiated name, then maharaj blessed me and gave a name card and carried on. Oh ! What a bliss I felt in heart. I was able to pay dandavat to a pure devotee of the Lord while doing parikarma. I thanked Sri Govardhan and Maharaj for this unexpected opportunity and came back to the auto to complete the rest of the parikarma.

We finally reached near Radha Kund where auto rikshas were not allowed, We walked the last 1 km or so. I also went to the Samadhi of Sri Ragunath Nath Goswami and paid my obeisances. We finally reached the glorious Radha kund, we all did small puja, sprinkled Her holy water on our heads. I thanked Sri Radha Kund for giving me this opportunity to come back. I promised myself that from next trips I will try to bring some new devotees and help them feel attached to dhama rather thinking only about my own self. This was my realisation for this trip.

We then hurriedly drove to Krishna Balaram temple so that I can let my parents to Deep dana. The road to the temple was heavy with traffic but thankfully we could drive till the temple gate, reaching outside the temple, I asked my family to go quickly go inside as it was already 8.30pm while I park the car. As I entered the temple after parking the car, the altar doors were closed. I took the diya from the devotees and did deep dana with doors closed and curtain drawn on Sri Damodar. But inside my heart I could see them all and offered my prayers to each of Them with a good degree of devotion and gratitude. As I turned around and to keep the diya I again saw HG Sri Krishna Hari Prabhuji doing deep dana in front of a new painting of Damodar in the temple complex. I took my son there and asked him to offer the deep dana copying prabhuji. I then met Prabhuji and I thanked him for calling me yesterday morning and filling my heart with the greed to come here. Prabhuji shared that they too did the parikarma in an auto but unlike us they stopped at various lila sthais and did katha and kirtana. I then asked my family members whether they were able to to do deep dana and they replied in affirmative, they could do the deep dana as Krishna balram altar was open and they could also offer the same to Damodar as well. I was most happy and most thankful to the Lord for making this a double. I had never thought that we will be able to reach here in time.

OfferinglampstoSriSriKrishnaBalaraminISKCONVrindavan19

Then I called up Vishnujiwan Prabhuji who not only handed me the keys for our room but also gave me the garland of Srimati Radharani. Oh! I was so happy to receive it, for me it was as if the Deities were pleased that I did this yatra for my parents and family and not so much for my own self as in previous times. I again and again thanked Them and promised that from next time I will try to bring devotees for darshan rather than rushing and thinking just my own self. I always used to hear and wonder how can Dhama reciprocate but today, after a day full of surprises and realisations, I could see that Dhama has reciprocated with me today and I can only bow my head in gratitude and promise to become a better devotee from here onwards.

Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura wrote this beautiful prayer called Mama Mana Mandire, which I am sharing as I pray that one day I too get some greed for Dhama and can serve it.

mama mana mandire raha niśi-din
kṛṣṇa murāri śrī kṛṣṇa murāri
(Please abide in the temple of my heart both day and night, O Krsna Murari, O Sri Krsna Murari!)

bhakti prīti mālā candan
tumi nio he nio cita-nandan
(Devotion, love, flower garlands, and sandalwood- please accept them, O Delighter of the Heart!)

jīvana maraṇa tava pūjā nivedan
sundara he mana-hārī
( In life or in death I worship You with these offerings, Beautiful One, O Enchanter of the Heart!)

eso nanda-kumār ār nanda-kumār
habe prema-pradīpe ārati tomār
(Come, son of Nanda, and then, O Son of Nanda, I will offer Your arati ceremony with the lamplight of my love.)

nayana jamunā jhare anibār
tomāra virahe giridhārī
(The waters of the Yamuna river cascade incessantly from my eyes in your separation, O Holder of Govardhana Hill!)

bandana gāne tava bajuk jīvana
kṛṣṇa murāri śrī kṛṣṇa murāri
(May I pass my life absorbed only in songs of Your praise, O Krsna Murari, Sri Krsna Murari!)

All glories to Sri Vrindavan Dham.
All glories to Sri Giri Govardhan.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

All glories to Tulasi Maharani

Hare Krishna.

15th May, 2014, Malaysia.

vrinda4

My reciprocation with Tulasi Maharani continues unabated and I beg and pray to her to please continue the same on this shudra.

Almost 10 days back I saw that one of the branches of the Tulasi was almost broken. My heart broke to see one of her branch hanging lose. I thought quickly and then went inside, spoke to my wife about the problem and my suggestion. She agreed with my idea with a little smile on her face. I brought a strong thread and wrapped around the semi broken branch, like a tight bandage. I prayed her to get well. My second reaction was the thought to call the maid and scold her strongly. The chances of the maid damaging the branch were high as I thought she must have been careless while cleaning the balcony area where all Tulasi plants reside. Somehow I drank my anger and told my wife to tell the maid to be very careful cleaning the area around Tulasi as her branches are very delicate.

Every morning and evening I would take a look at my make shift bandage but the bandage could not hold, it would become lose every other day. I knew what was coming and was quite sad, twice a day I was mending the bandage but with little effect on her. The branch was still somewhat green but the leaves started looking pale and dry. After few days I came to the conclusion that this branch could not be saved and it pained me seeing her with a branch hanging lose. Finally one morning I separated this injured branch from the stem. I  took some leaves for offering to Lord and then, I don’t know what came to my mind, I planted the broken branch in of the empty pots, which was lying empty since many months.

My earlier attempts, in the past, to plant a broken branch of Tulasi have not been successful. Still, I went ahead and planted the broken branch, offered her lots of water and then prayed to her to please stay there and remain healthy and do not leave us like this. I also said sorry on behalf of myself and my maid. I continue to water her for next 2-3 days. She didn’t change, she didn’t turn green but didn’t get worse as well. This gave me hope.

One morning while I was chanting my rounds in the same balcony, I looked at her and prayed her to stay, as her leaves looked paler today. Suddenly, while sitting in front of her, I felt as if Tulasi Maharani is talking to me in my heart. She said that she might just decide to accept my prayer if I worship her everyday. Surprised at her statement, I replied that I do worship her everyday and also offer water. She replied yes,  but that is just prayer there is no `archana’ (worship). More surprised, I asked what would make her happy ? She replied that if I were to offer her flower and lamp every day then she may just decide to stay. She also added that this particular planter has a specific space for offering her lamp and which I almost never used. Feeling extremely grateful for this conversation, or realisation or  my mind playing games with me or whatever one may call it, I answered, surprising my own self,  that if she would be pleased with my offering of lamp and flower then I will offer them everyday irrespective of whether she decides to stay or leave. I felt a smile  from her and she was gone, no communication.

I kept my word and started offering her a fresh flower and lamp before offering my daily prayers every morning. She remained okay, not improving not deteriorating. My hope increased on the third day as her leaves looked a little more fresh and healthy.  I had to leave for a trip outside Delhi on 9th May and this is her picture which I took on 8th May.

photo 2

I was overjoyed in my heart but kept my feelings under a lid and thanked her profusely. I shared the unique conversation I had with Tulasi Maharani with my wife and requested her to continue worshiping her daily with flower and lamp while I am away and this is the picture she sent me today morning from her mobile

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Tulasi Maharani has decided to stay.  Hari Bol ! Hari Bol ! Hari Bol !

All glories to Tulasi Maharani.

It has been an amazing reciprocation by Tulasi Maharani. As a low caste shudra, both by birth and by action,  I never had the `adhikar’ (the right) within me to receive any such mercy from Tulasi Maharani. Some merciful Vaishanava has blessed me and this amazing relationship with Tulasi Maharani has begun in my devotional life. I pray to Vaishanava if they could also bless me that I can serve them till the last breath of my low life. I also pray and beg that I get some inspiration from such causeless mercy of Vaishanavas as well as Tulasi Maharani and my dry heart gets soft and compassionate towards everyone.

I am quoting some lectures where Srila Prabhupada glorified Tulasi Maharani.

IDENTITY OF A PET DOG
Prabhupada: Somebody asked me,”Swamijl, why are these Tulasl beads on your neck or on your devotee’s neck? “So I replied,”Just as a pet dog has got a collar, similarly we are pet dogs of God. So we have got this collar. And Yamaraja,the Lord of Death will understand that he, the devotee, is God’s dog; he should not be shot down.” (December 19,1970, Srimad Bhagavatam Class,Surat)

REAL UNDERSTANDING OF TULASI
Devotee: How is it possible that Tulasi Devi is a pure devotee,what we might call a plant?
Prabhupada: That you cannot know in your impure state. You just become pure. You will understand … When you become a devotee, you will understand what kind of devotee Tulasi is. So long as you are not a devotee, you cannot understand. Don’t expect to. Therefore we have to accept the authority. That is the beginning. The shastra says,”Tulasi is the greatest devotee of Krsna.” We have to accept, that’s all. Authority. How she is so great a devotee, that you will understand when you become a devotee. You come to that platform; then you will understand,not before. Now chant.
 (February 22,1973,Srimad-Bhagavatam Class,Auckland,New Zealand)
JUST BY SOWING A TULASI SEED
… Service to the Vaisnava, tulasi, Ganges and Yamuna:are included in pada-sevanam. All these processes of pada-sevanam help one advance in spiritual life very quickly . .. .In the same Skanda-Purana, reva-khanda, it is said that one who recites prayers to Tulasi or sows a Tulasi seed is also freed from all offenses. Similarly,one who worships the salagrama-sila can also be relieved of offenses.(Canto 7,Chapter 5,Texts 23-24 Purport)
ETERNAL CONSORT OF KRSNA
Yes, Srimati Tulasi is the eternal consort of Krsna and the most pure devotee, and therefore the Tulasi plant is worshiped by Vaisnavas.
(Letter dated March 26,1968,from San Francisco,to Balai Oils,New York)

All glories to Tulasi Maharani.

All glories to most merciful Vaishanavas.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

What should we pray to God ?

Hare Krishna

10th May, 2014, Gurgaon

Quotes-by-Srila-Prabhupada-on-Offering-Prayers-Properly

I was talking to a devotee the other day and he shared a recent realisation of one of his married friend. He narrated how in last few weeks his friend started looking at a particular girl in his office. Knowing it is wrong, his friend tried his best to control his senses but he would lose all self-control when this girl would pass by. His friend shared this problem with his wife and in spite of all his efforts he failed to control himself. Soon afterwards, he had the good fortune to visit Dham after a long time. There he prayed sincerely to Lord to please help him with this particular problem. Prabhuji joined back his office after his trip and Lo and behold ! his eyes would no longer run after this girl. The problem got solved like magic ! At one level this incident teaches us many positives

1.  We should always accept out problem, share it with a close friend, in this case he shared with his wife.
2. Pray to The Lord for help.
3. Lord reciprocates most mercifully with His devotees.

After my friend left, I remembered the story of an old woman who was coming  back from the forest after collecting dry woods. The old woman was very tired and somehow the bundle of dry woods, she was carrying on her head, fell down. The bundle was heavy, she tried hard but could not lift it. It was getting dark, and feeling helpless, she prayed to the Lord `God, please help me.’ Lord manifested and asked her what does she want. She replied that she is very tired and needs help in lifting the bundle of woods on her head. Lord obliged and helped her carry the bundle back on her head and left.

The moral from the above stories for me, as a devotee, is that I should be careful for what I pray to Krishna.

One consideration could be that whatever helps us stay closer to Krishna is good for us to pray. Second consideration could be that if we don’t ask our own father (Lord)  to help then who else do we pray to?

My point is that, as a devotees, should we not a bit more careful as to what do we pray to Krishna ? As practicing sadhakas should we trouble Lord with our material problems or can I pray to Krishna to please

1. give me an opportunity to serve His devotees.

2. give me faith in Srila Prabhupada’s words.

3. help me chant once with purity, shudha Nama.

4. to give me Your bhakti, Your love.

5. let me participate in Mahāprabhu’s sankirtan movement

5. bless me that I never forget You ……..  ( it could be a long list)

Won’t all our material desires, and problems and irritants, would simply evaporate if we get any of the above, even a  miniscule portion will take us far higher in our spiritual journey.

Srila Prabhupada once spoke

So a devotee is not very much anxious for mukti because a devotee is always mukta. He is already mukta. Why should he… Suppose if you have got millions of dollars, why should you hanker after ten rupees? So bhakti is such a nice thing. But what is that bhakti? That bhakti is animitta bhagavati. That bhakti should be animitta, not with a motive that “I shall go to the temple and serve Krsna for this purpose.” Krsna can fulfill any purpose you desire. It is not very difficult for Him, because He is almighty, full with all opulences. So if you want something, material happiness, from Krsna, it is not very difficult for Krsna. He can give you mukti even. But to ask from Krsna anything else than bhakti is foolishness. That is foolishness. My Guru Maharaja used to give this example: just like if you go to a rich man and he says, “Now whatever you like, you can ask from me. I shall give you,” then if you ask him that “You give me a pinch of ash,” is that very intelligent? ( lecture, SB 3.25.32 Bombay, December 2, 1974).

I am copying a prayer by Srila Narottama dasa Thakura to take inspiration from our paramapara on what to pray

hari hari, kabe mora haibe sudina,

bhajiba shri radha-krishna haiya premadhina

(O Shri Hari, when will that auspicious day be mine? Filled with prema, when will I worship Shri Radha-Krisna?)

suyantremishaiya ga’ba sumadhura tana

anande koriba duhara rupa-guna-gana

(As the sounds of the divine instruments mix and create the sweetest melodies, I will blissfully sing songs about Their forms and qualities.)

‘radhika-govinda’ bali’ kandibo uccaih-svare

bhijibe sakala anga nayanera nire

(While singing “Radhika-Govinda,” I will weep loudly and my whole body will become soaked by the tears falling from my eyes.)

ei-bara karuna kara rupa-sanatana

raghunatha dasa mora shri jiva-jivana

(Be merciful now, Rupa Gosvami and Sanatana Gosvami! O my Raghunatha dasa Gosvami! My life-giving Shri Jiva Gosvami!)

ei-bara karuna kara lalita vishakha

sakhya-bhaveshridama-subala-adisakha

(Be merciful now, O Lalita and Vishakha! O Shridama, Subala and all other friends in sakhya-bhava!)

sabe mili’ kara daya puruka mora asha

prarthana karaye sada narottama dasa

(Being merciful, all of you together, kindly fulfill my deepest desires! Narottama dasa is forever praying in this way.)

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

Finding Faults: My biggest disease

Hare Krishna.

I read another pastime  of Srila Prabhupada today morning by Janananda Maharaj sent by HG Chitralekha Devi Dasi mataji. It read:

Prabhupada asked for water. Amogha, who was holding the microphone at the time, got up and went to the kitchen.

Amogha: “In the kitchen a lady handed me a silver tray on which was a pitcher of cold water, with ice in it, and a drinking cup or goblet upside down. The drinking cup had a long slender base that widened at the bottom. As I brought it in I couldn’t understand that it was upside down so I conjectured that it was a funnel which would fill the cup if I poured the water into it. I came close to Srila Prabhupada and nervously, in front of the guests, I poured the water into the bottom of the cup which was standing upside down on the tray. Naturally the water spilled out onto the tray, but I didn’t notice. I thought, ‘They put a funnel there so I wouldn’t spill it’. Srila Prabhupada looked at me and the tray and Srila Prabhupada said, ‘What is that?’ I said, ‘Water, Srila Prabhupada’, and Srila Prabhupada said, ‘NO, what is THAT?’, referring to what I was doing. People began to jump up to assist, but suddenly it dawned upon me what I had done. ‘Oh, No!’ I exclaimed and I poured the water out of the base and filled the cup properly. It was a big embarrassment. Everyone was on edge about it. Red-faced, I sat down where I had been before. At the time I walked in with the cup, Prabhupada was preaching about how people have misused their intelligence. Then I interrupted with the water blunder. After I sat down again Srila Prabhupada said, ‘Misused intelligence’, and everyone laughed heartily and felt relieved. Prabhupada could always say something at the right time that would put everybody at ease.”

As I finished reading the last line I could not understand why is this pastime being mentioned in the first place as I could only read embarrassment in it. It took me couple of seconds to realise their surrender to Srila Prabhupada. Whatever way Srila Prabupada conducted with them,  for them it was coming from Krishna directly. They had understood the meaning of complete devotion to Guru and they know that every action from Srila Prabhupada was for their own betterment.

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p style=”text-align: justify;”>aslishya va pada-ratam pinashtu mam
adarsanan marma-hatam karotu va
yatha tatha va vidadhatu lampato
mat-prana-nathas tu sa eva naparah

I know no one but Krishna as my Lord, and He shall remain so even if He handles me roughly by His embrace or makes me brokenhearted by not being present before me. He is completely free to do anything and everything, for He is always my worshipful Lord, unconditionally.

I knew in a split second that this is what I lack. I judge devotees, and for that matter, everyone else. Neither I have complete faith in Guru and Krishna. I also suffer from another disease of being able to find fault in others.

I had attended a lecture of HG Damodar Prabhuji many months back in Gurgaon where he mentioned that the definition of `Muni’ is the one who does not find fault in others. So I thought let me ask him only for a solution. I requested him for a treatment for this disease to judge others. He instructed me to pray. So now I pray everyday to six Goswamis and Narsimha Deva to please have pity on me and remove this dreaded disease from my heart.

All Glories to all the sons and grandsons of Srila Prabhupada.

All Glories to Srila Prabhupada.

All Glories to the most soft hearted and most merciful Gaudia Vaishanva samradaya.